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by lilvior

person Marchatorium
schedule October 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good Ending! XD
person Gwennafran
schedule October 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey forget about the mistakes. They don
person dragon34
schedule October 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was really cool. I thought it was Lilly, instead of Molly. I would love to read another potterverse story from you.
person Morigel
schedule October 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Several correcting to your story: you wrote, that Severus is 16 - it means we are somewhere around 1976. Heavy metal i OK, it started around 1970 or a little later (suggestion for the band: Judas Priest). But you messed up the clothing. Metal fans of that time did not wear big trousers. They wear it as tight as possible. I\'m not sure about the chains, it seems wrong. Severus had spikes in his hair in your story - another mistake, in 1976 men wear their hair free. Concept of a Gothic girl first appeared somewhere around 1985, or even later. And the piercings. Now it\'s common, but surely not then.
Last thing: you have the age of Bellatrix quite right, but not Molly, she is older. In 1976 she is around 30 and already is maried and has children.