AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Not Your Usual Love Story

by JamesRipLily

person ewchy
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Really nice story and I love the pairing keep going!

Ew
person Amessis
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this story! That was so funny- Ginny betting on them! Can\'t wait for more.
person Nightwing
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG.... you can\'t end it there, i am loving your story!!!
I loved the torture Dray was putting Harry though during the dinner thing, lol... and the kiss was amazing!
Can\'t wait for more
Chow for now!
person Christina
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yay! Love it!!! Please update soon!!!
person ice owl
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was nice to read. I adore a sexy Malfoy who is behaving badly, but sweetly. I even like Ginny there- I hate it when she gets all stuffed about Harry \'casue she is just so wrong for him. Her and Harry together just makes me think he wants to shag his mother, eugh!!!
person Blaze Zelawin
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really love your story!!! The t-shirts are awesome too! This is the first fanfiction I have read in a while that was able to keep my attention the entire time! :)
Blaze Zelawin
person Tashasaphi
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Draco is a perrrrrvert

And I luff him.

Such a cliffy at the end there! luff luff extreme. Aww that line is so good.

I know what comes next, of course, but I\'m still excitied ^^

The only thing I suggest is trying to vary sentence beginnings and use of tense, and boost some of those adjectives a little. Variety is the spice of fiction. Other than that, this is spot on.

*sigh* If I could make PD chapters like this, snappy and to the point, my fans wouldn\'t hate me so much.

There\'s so many little things in here that I can\'t help but think you\'ve taken from life. Cracks me up XD

LUFF YOU!

Tsx
person scully
schedule October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
awww, first kiss. sweet. :) love the fact that ginny (and unknown others) were betting on the 2 of them. bwhahhaha! classic! im sure everyone but ron is on to them, poor clueless ron. good storytelling, good characterization. keep it up, cant wait to read more!
person You know damn right... (Tashasaphi)
schedule October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Damn straight I do! *does the best beta in the world dance* WOO WOO

This chapter, before I fiddled with it, was already a brilliantly written example of your best work. There are just little phrases, cleverly integrated words and special, shiny moments that really make this piece stand out in a world of samey bullcrap.

That, and you make cliches seem brand new ^^

<3

Tsx
person thrnbrooke
schedule October 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like it so far! Can\'t wait for chapter 2!