AFF Fiction Portal
person demonspirit
schedule October 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
When are you going to update?
person carabella
schedule October 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i cant believe u leeft me w/ that evil cliffhanger! Bad writer, bad! :)
person Sexy relly
schedule October 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Woa! wat a comprimising position. Please continue, cant wait to c wat happens next.
person DD
schedule October 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It\'s very good, but I don\'t think that you should have a message in the body of the story, people won\'t take you seirously as a writer. Oh and thank you for letting me \'borrow\' some of your ideas. Overall, good job! Keep up the good work. Update soon.
person Patronuscharm2
schedule October 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this story! its fantastic! I have been reading random stories and this one caught my eye but everytime i tried to read it i got interrupted, i finally finished and i LOVE IT! GREAT JOB! UPDATE SOON!
person HermioneNDraco
schedule October 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This story is really really good. I like it and It\'s awesome
Keep righting
Amber
person Dream_Toxin
schedule October 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Don\'t leave me hanging or in this case riding. Update Soon!!!!!!
person Sommer
schedule October 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
She left him wanting more
Great Part
person john the heavy
schedule October 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This Shit is Hot! Hurrah^^
person Anon
schedule October 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You would really benefit from a beta reader. This is a good story, but it\'s very distracting because you use different tenses, sometimes in the same sentence. Look up some examples of the correct use of present and past tense and practice it a bit. Otherwise I\'m liking your story.