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October 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
meh it wasx a good pwpw but really was ooc i guess... well not really cause they didnt do really any interacting before they got it on so i guess not really i guess the language is what it made it seem that way, pretty good
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October 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yummy!
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October 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
English is not your primary language, is it?
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September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, interesting.
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September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
YOU SHOULD WRITE A SEQUAL!!!
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September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not too bad. You might want to get a beta for some of the spelling and usage errors, but there weren\'t as many as I have seen in quite a few other fics. There are several betas who are willing and ready to work with anyone who asks, and they are an immense help. There is a beta reader group for AFF, just look at the top of the page, and many others listed at WIKTT, Sycophant Hex, or just ask for one in an A/N. Good luck with further fics!
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September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A very good story if a bit needed of spelling check and the grammer police. Otherwise, an enjoyable read.
Red
Red
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September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Okay, so this is a short and possibly not so sweet one shot. Please, you need to at least do a spell check. It is inexcusable to leave such deliberate and simple errors in an otherwise reasonably good short fiction.