rate_review Reviews

aaahh, I

i like the idea of this story better than the execution. there is a difference between bdsm and abuse. this is more abuse to me. he lets it. and learns to like it? so he has Stockholm syndrome???? i can understand lovers wanting each others tear, but only voluntarily. and the way this is written it very much isnt dispite appearances. but then its very possible i missed the angst/violence/abuse warnings or something....

Your last comment was that you would love to know what I, the reader, think. I have only two small criticisms -- the dialogue at times is wordy and unnatural, and there are some proofreading errors (e.g., ".. a shit of parchment.." and "... the trains topped ..." -- both left me with disturbing and hilarious mental images!). That aside, I still read every word and would welcome more. I intend to see what else you've written. You crafted a really intriguing plot, and played with our perceptions of the characters, causing us to transition along with Harry. I was fascinated. I think that you have real talent, and I would ask to be added to any update & new story listings you have. (cvmail11@yahoo.com). I admit I hope for fewer typos to disrupt the flow, but I am certain any stilted dialogue issues will be smoothed away as you grow further into your craft. Ultimately, I really enjoyed this work and have added it to my bookmarks as a favorite and you as an author to follow. Thank you for a good investment of my time and attention.

Duuude! Chapter 2 was hilarious!
This story is great by the way.

Hahahha. Lucius is one ignorant douche hhahaha. Still funny though

You need to put warnings for rape at the beginning of your story nimrod.

What is the songs title?
I'm talking about the one on the end of chapter 4
but other than that i absolutely love the story thank you

Hello again i would also like to know all the names of the songs and artists that you used in this story. Just email the names to me
Thank you very much
M.F

interesting take on the whole lucius/harry veela/mate thing but it just gets soooooo dull,
the reader knows the outcome way too far in advance if you're not actually going to have anything happen
other than harry being confused.
Sorry, and this isn't meant to just put you down but the plot does actually need to progress or deviate or SOMETHING if you've already given away a large part of it.

Plus personal preference but I don't tend to like all-knowing, can-do-no-wrong harry unless it's written really well with a good plot and I think that's also partially why I got bored since, for me, you basically turned your main character into a sanctimonious bastard, gave him two mindless minions than tried to justify his behaviour by expanding his emotions and making him whine about how much he was hurt.

You may also want to look into the word order and phrasing, there are some places where I'm rather sure you mean something different.

i truly enjoyed reading this story and i would love to read a sequel...maybe with ron and draco getting together....lol