rate_review Reviews

I\'m enjoying the present-tense that you are writing in... I am also enjoying the story. I can\'t wait till the next chapter!

GOOD CHAPTER. UPDATE SOON.

Interesting chapter...has Hermione tricked Lucius? Thanks for sharing your story and I\'m looking forward to the next chapter.

Wow that was an amazing chapter... although I think Hermione should have kept the money incase she decided she needed it, I mean she can\'t really ask Harry for it back... although I am guessing that Hermione is going to fall in love with Lucius - also hoping - but only if he isn\'t mean to Hermione!

I look forward to the next chapter!

Oh man!!!! But... Ok.. Ok... I know how it works. I have to just wait patiently for the next chapter. But that doesn\'t mean I am gonna like it. PLease update soon. I think I will go nuts waiting!

I think your story is off to a great start! As a fellow Lucius/Hermione writer, I am always looking for a good story on that pairing. I think the two actually compliment each other well. Keep writing please. I want to hear what happenes next!

I am very interested in the next chapter. Luscious Lucius: a very dangerous man but also very alluring. The way you describe him is very much just that.

You\'ve done a very good job illustrating the emotional blackmail that so many parents use to control their children in this chapter. I can\'t decide whether I actively dislike Doris or think she\'s fairly stupid. Either way, you\'ve done a very good job with her character. Hermione\'s panic and worry it seems was prophetic, she did have reason to worry, and now she\'s contractually bound to meet with Lucius. I did find myself wondering exactly why Hermione didn\'t just say \'Mum, he tried to kill me.\' Although, I can imagine that Doris\' response would be something like, \'I\'m sure you\'ve misunderstood, dear. He\'s really a very nice man.\' I look forward to the time that Lucius and Hermione have to spend together... I wonder if Ron and Harry will come along as chaperones?

Again in that concrit arena, I hope that your opening comment in chapter three isn\'t aimed at me, although after reading your other reviews I imagine that it is. I certainly do not have any problem with a story written in first-person, present tense, and if I\'ve distressed you it was certainly not my intention. I think this story is entirely engaging and do not want to dissuade you from continuing it. My comment was really about the consistency of your tenses (great galloping hippogriffs, we all make mistakes, and I was simply attempting to point one out.) If it makes it easier to have an example, I noticed this one from Chapter 3, \"Unfortunately, the first two were entirely in French, and Hermione, having only a rudimentary grasp on the language, finds them utterly useless.\" For consistency\'s sake, it should more properly be, \"the first two are...\" instead of \"the first two were....\" If this seems nitpicky, then you have my apologies, but you have invited concrit, and my only intention is for the betterment of your story.

I wish you the best with your oral surgery, and look forward to the next chapter.

Wow, I love this story! Awesome plot you have going so far. Oh, and I like the way you\'re writing in present tense throughout the story. It\'s so rare to see that, and even rarer to see it done well. Keep up the great work!

I love this story. Very finely written! Personally I am not bothered at all by the tense - though to be honest Id idn\'t really notice it until this chapter. It is different but gives the story a greater sense of immediacy. To bad about your tooth, good luck with the surgery.

the earth guide