schedule
July 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Fairly good PWP. Good storyline/premise. However the switch in voices from she to you to she and back again is distracting, along with other consistent grammatical errors. I suggest getting a beta, this would (hopefully) rid you of structural/grammatical problems letting the undoubtly good story shine through. Keep it up, as I said it\'s a good premise :)
schedule
July 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Awesome start! This is a really good PWP, with a good storyline. The only thing I would suggest is to get a beta or two. You kept switching between second and third person, and between past and present tense. But after those problems are cleared up, all you\'ve got is a great story! Keep up the good work.