rate_review Reviews

No need to apologize! All is understood! You take care of yourself! I really want chapter 4 but I can wait for it! Lots and lots of hugs!

Can\'t wait for chapter 4! What happens next? Who is the unknown person?

Oh this is too funny! I can\'t wait for chapter 3!

This is a great foundation for a story, but I must make a suggestion, with no meaning of offence. Instead of writing internal monologues to describe the scene, try third person omniscient descriptions. For example, instead of having Snape think \"Where are Crabbe and Goyle?\" and having those awful slashes around them, try something like, \"Snape frowned. He noted the absence of Draco Malfoy\'s two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, who never seemed to leave his side. He silently wondered where they went off to.\" This way you can give more background information and you have more flexibility in your writing, and it might make it look more sophisticated.

You have talent as a writer, and although there are some typos grammar mistakes etc, none of them take away from the story too much. However, your OC looks dangerously close to a Mary Sue, and Harry and Draco are also a little OOC.

People are put off by Mary Sues and OOC\'s without explanations. If you correct these, you\'ll get more reviews.

It was good but I kept getting distracted by all the ? marks throughout the story. Please remove them or don\'t put them in upcoming chapters. Thanks.

Oh I can\'t wait for the reposting of chapter 1 and the new chapter 2! Severus is Harry\'s godfather now? Since when? What is this Lunette? A loner?

Have to say. This is a really good idea for a story. Took me two tries to get the lunette girl\'s last name right. If you still need a beta, I\'m always available. I beta any story, even if they\'re stories I don\'t like the pairings in. As long as it\'s good I get into it. Yours is great. If you need a beta, just write to me at the above address. Hope to hear from you.
Share you opinion with the stories. I read them and I have to say it shocked, disappointed and upset me. Was a blubbering mass. Lol. If you wanna know what happened, just let me know. Looking forward to reading more.