AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Consequences

by Aline

person Stag
schedule May 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed your story. As I got to the later chapter, I kept thinking back to the beginning. There's a very interesting progression in the characters. Good job!
schedule May 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Me encant
schedule May 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just found this story today and read the whole thing. It was brilliant! Wonderful characterization!
schedule May 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
btw, I really like Chapter 23 in particular--Hermione and Draco's interaction over Quidditch, Draco teasing Harry that he needs lessons in snogging, Draco remembering Ginny's cattiness, and Harry's intro to wizarding politics.
schedule May 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
4th paragraph--house-elf experimenting depression--experimenting should be experiencing

you have such great detail in this epilogue! I love the maze with the fake monsters in particular. The accidental magic in the sandbox was great too. I also like Hermione trying not to overwork Winky, Hermione taunting the portraits, and having to fool the Malfoy Manor anti-contraception spells by going on vacation. Hermione blasting open the door of her prison was pretty funny too.

Have I mentioned how much I love the maze with fake monsters?
person Michelle
schedule May 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think you did a great job! I can tell that English is your second language, but honestly, even with the few mistakes I see, you're better with English than a great many native speakers!

I liked the story, and am delighted with the happy ending. The twist about the Manor not allowing a second child was original and clever - well done! Vacation time, indeed.
person amoraluv
schedule April 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, great story!!!
person Citten
schedule April 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
honey you are a great writer-right up there with windynat and missfigg! your story has made me laugh and fall in love and yearn for more! you have done so well and i will truely miss this story! i also love how long the chapters are and how long the story is in general i do hope that you will write more!!! i look for more!! until the last chapter :) & :(
schedule March 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
In the beginning of Chapter 28, Ron says that Hermione "lied" with him; it should be "laid."
In Chapter 29, when Hermione's mother decides to go live with Hermione's aunt, the term "nephew" is used; the correct term is "niece."
Instead of "HOGWARTS SURVIVED", newspapers usually use the present tense "HOGWARTS SURVIVES." "HOGWARTS STANDS" would be more hopeful and cheering to the public.

Cute story; I like your creation of the non-canon characters and the Neville-Goyle friendship. Parvati is a wonderful villain. Draco yelling at Hemione in the hospital wing was particularly funny. I really like the Ron storyline. I hope you will mention Ron in your epilogue?
person Anon
schedule March 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
omg u have to update soon i wanna know what happened!!! please!!! lol