AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Harry Potter and the Shiverin Descendent

by Lori

person jewel
schedule September 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey!
your story was recommended to me and ive got to tell you, im already hooked! haha. it\'s rather refreshin, really. cant wait for more (:
person Alexa
schedule September 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Cool! I could just see Harry when he threatened Hermione. Nice. And his thoughts behind it - nicely done, shows how his other side took over.
Maybe you could look into getting a beta? You need to have commas in sentenses and sometimes you separate words that don\'t need it - like \"back ground\" instead of \"backround\". Also \"fallow\" should be \"follow\", and you used \"fare\" in stead of \"fair\" most of the time.
person StormPrincesa
schedule September 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Brillante, Fant
person sbkar
schedule September 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
When will you be updating again??? I always enjoy a good creature story.

Now...you have to change \'fare\' to \'fair\'; fare has to do with money. Do you every put this through a spell-checker, so you catch the simple typos?
person Snarky B.
schedule September 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You really do need a beta reader. I didn\'t check through the whole story, only a small part (about 25%) of chapter 5 and found these spelling errors. I didn\'t include run-on sentences or other kinds of errors. There are lots of places to find beta readers on the Net. www. perfectimagination. co. uk is one such place.



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person Snarky B.
schedule September 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oops! In my last review, I forgot to say that I was enjoying your story. :) Keep writing.
person LadyX
schedule September 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yeah another chapter!! You should let chapters write themelves all the time. It was wonderful and I can\'t wait for more. This is the last chapter I clearly remember from another time so hopefully then next chapter will be fresh and new for me. I seriusly have no idea where I have seen this before and I know it is all your idea but...I swear...damn premontions..always screw me up...Cant wait for the next chapter.
person scully
schedule September 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
argh! yeah, maybe not a cliffhanger but still...i want more! update soon please! i really like the shivern creature you have created and i cant wait for some yummy slashy sexy LEMONY goodness between my two faves. details, please! *wink*
person softballfox
schedule August 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
okay, look u have to finish this story.....if u don\'t i don\'t know what i\'ll do....so plz finish....and soon
person Demon
schedule August 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is great

but why do the other shiverin want Harry

and what does Dumbledore and Remus find in the vault??