rate_review Reviews

O_O...Uhhh... you know you wrote Snape wayy OOC right?! I mean . . . he just... wouldn't. Not that quickly anyway. It had a good idea but you fail to deliver the aspirations that I had for this fic when reading the description...*sigh* Oh welll... other than that I liked they way you wrote about Raven's interactions with the other students, very realistic, I could actually see them acting out in my mind ^_^. A word of advice, you should make Snape play hard to get, and have him face alot of inner turmoil that he begins to have feelings for a student and at first can't place them, and it disturbs him, that would at least make him seem more like he is.

Oh and Do Wop, shut up. There's helpful comments, and then there's just downright rude. It doesn't make you look very intelligent, not to mention you should keep your opinions to yourself unless every facfic you've written is five star worthy, with lots of good reviews. And seeing that you don't... well.... yeah. Oh and also, OC's do not have to suck if you actually write them well. Just a little friendly advice ^_^

It is time for you to learn certain things.

1. Original Charectors suck. OK? OCs are the bane of fanficdom. Its one thing to include OCs, it\'s another altogether to insert your charector as the main when there is already a plethora of canon charectors to pick from.

2. Paragraphs are your friends. Each line of dialogue should have its own paragraph. I don\'t know about you, but I was taught this in grade three. People who don\'t use paragraphs properly burn in hell.

3. You cannot write. Stop trying to try.

O my Gosh your story is ...Great!!
i hope you write many more stories

great!!!! i can\'t wait for part 2