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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Could this situation get any worse? I guess Harry and Draco will have to learn to deal with the consequences of this attack. This is sad. I was really looking forward to their first loving encounter. Only advanced knowledge and a time turner could undo this visciousness.
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey this was great hope harry will get through this hope hermine that bitch died a most painful death cant wait 4 the next chapter i was wondering whenu were going to update an fanfic but then it says now story there so i gues u move hope u have a great day bye shola!!!!!!!!!
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh..my....gosh. I just killed like...two or three days trying to read this whole thing. *rubs eyes* Might I add one suggestion to make it easier to read?
Double space your paragraphs. It makes it a LOT easier to focus on in the long run...especially for gits like me who haven\'t picked up ont he story until you\'ve written 58 chapters and they have to read 58 to catch up. :)
The only other thing I would comment on right now, is watch your paragraphing. I think I noticed a few times that you had two different people speaking in the same paragraph. If not, then the double spacing makes this much easier to understand. :)
One question/ponderment though. I thought Cloe was human and Cord was Vampire, yes? Then how is Cloe an animagus? I was under the initial impression that none of the group were witches or wizards, but simply understood how things sort of worked. Rather, I understood Cord being a witch due to Severus being her dad and all...maybe I\'m just tired. It was confusing though as none of them went to school by the sounds of it really.
And omfg you totally caught me off guard with Hermoine, but that is such a good plot twist. Harry was supposed to be a girl, but a girl \"isn\'t powerful enough\" so now she\'s provign a girl\'s power. She\'s the new Dark Mistress...or Lord...ress? Totally didn\'t think Dean and Sean and Justin were in it either. I thought it was weird how Ron was acting at first, but it was so implanted properly that I didn\'t even think that it was anyone else with the Imperius--especially now \'Moine.
Wow. Oh, one other thing I think I noticed, was your punctuations can be off sometimes. I believe I saw it more at the end of talking where it would be simply \"Hi how are you\" type of thing. So, just watch that a bit as well. But bloody brilliant I say. ^_^
*~* K *~*
Double space your paragraphs. It makes it a LOT easier to focus on in the long run...especially for gits like me who haven\'t picked up ont he story until you\'ve written 58 chapters and they have to read 58 to catch up. :)
The only other thing I would comment on right now, is watch your paragraphing. I think I noticed a few times that you had two different people speaking in the same paragraph. If not, then the double spacing makes this much easier to understand. :)
One question/ponderment though. I thought Cloe was human and Cord was Vampire, yes? Then how is Cloe an animagus? I was under the initial impression that none of the group were witches or wizards, but simply understood how things sort of worked. Rather, I understood Cord being a witch due to Severus being her dad and all...maybe I\'m just tired. It was confusing though as none of them went to school by the sounds of it really.
And omfg you totally caught me off guard with Hermoine, but that is such a good plot twist. Harry was supposed to be a girl, but a girl \"isn\'t powerful enough\" so now she\'s provign a girl\'s power. She\'s the new Dark Mistress...or Lord...ress? Totally didn\'t think Dean and Sean and Justin were in it either. I thought it was weird how Ron was acting at first, but it was so implanted properly that I didn\'t even think that it was anyone else with the Imperius--especially now \'Moine.
Wow. Oh, one other thing I think I noticed, was your punctuations can be off sometimes. I believe I saw it more at the end of talking where it would be simply \"Hi how are you\" type of thing. So, just watch that a bit as well. But bloody brilliant I say. ^_^
*~* K *~*
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love this story. Makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time. However the past couple chapters have me wanting to throttle certain someones. Can\'t wait for the update. ~Laura
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'m leaving my e-mail on here, because I\'m willing to let you come after me, after you read this review.
First off, I want to say that I intended to be coming to you praising and happy, but I... don\'t really know what to say after reading the \"rape\" chapter. I can honestly say I have never been more dissappointed in a fic than I am now. I loved this fic, I was so happy to be reading it and I was excited that I had found it. I just loved everything about it. I was even quite upset that it hadn\'t gotten more reviews. But now I can kind of see why.
You had developed Harry and Draco\'s relationship so wonderfully and it was prefect--there was absolutely NO NEED to bring that rape scene in. That just absolutely destroyed the entire fic for me. I\'ve never, in my entire 8 years of reading and writing fics, written something like this to another artist/author, or felt this way about a fic, but I just had to voice my feelings on it, because it was so devastating to me. I cannot finish the fic now, and that is upsetting in and of itself. You could have done perfectly fine and gotten your point across WITHOUT having Harry get raped. But I think it\'s a little late for that now.
I wish you better writing from now on. And you may get more reviews if you actually spaced the writing into paragraphs--it\'s just easier to read.
First off, I want to say that I intended to be coming to you praising and happy, but I... don\'t really know what to say after reading the \"rape\" chapter. I can honestly say I have never been more dissappointed in a fic than I am now. I loved this fic, I was so happy to be reading it and I was excited that I had found it. I just loved everything about it. I was even quite upset that it hadn\'t gotten more reviews. But now I can kind of see why.
You had developed Harry and Draco\'s relationship so wonderfully and it was prefect--there was absolutely NO NEED to bring that rape scene in. That just absolutely destroyed the entire fic for me. I\'ve never, in my entire 8 years of reading and writing fics, written something like this to another artist/author, or felt this way about a fic, but I just had to voice my feelings on it, because it was so devastating to me. I cannot finish the fic now, and that is upsetting in and of itself. You could have done perfectly fine and gotten your point across WITHOUT having Harry get raped. But I think it\'s a little late for that now.
I wish you better writing from now on. And you may get more reviews if you actually spaced the writing into paragraphs--it\'s just easier to read.
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
BASTARD ALBUS DUMBLEDORE!!! Hate him but yer great update, please update again soon!!!!!!!!!
*Eowyns elixure
*Eowyns elixure
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
so it\'s dangerous to chage the sex of the bay before he\'s born?? What kind of damage can it bring? Psicological? physical? Would you mind being more expecific next chapter ? I\'m kind of interested.... Good chapter, btw, update ASAP, please.
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was a great chapter! update soon!!
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great work! The old man is a twinkle-eyed menace that needs to be put down. He\'ll probably want to let Hermione get away with this because she\'s a gryffindore. Just ask if you want those torture ideas. I\'m sure I can find several that I\'ve not heard of even from part of my more violent family.
B
B
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June 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You have really out done yourself with this twist! I never saw it coming and I am taken aback by Hermione\'s actions towards Harry and Ron. This only gets better as it goes on and I don\'t see how there could be a end in sight, but that could just be because I don\'t want there to be an end! Awesome Chapter Awesome Story! Cheers!