AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for captured by a traitor?

by botonchan

person Coco
schedule August 15, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Well... I have trouble reading your fanfiction... I don't know whether you realized or not, but your whole fanfiction is very badly formatted. There are formatting mistakes everywhere and are in the way of reading your FF.

I read the first two chapters - but then everything went wrong with the formation... Please fix that. Otherwise reading and enjoying your actual fanfiction is hard...
schedule March 15, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Word of advice, don't change point or view. It's not necessary, it takes from the story, makes it confusing and hard to read and I really do want to read this story, but the constant change of views irks me enough then I almost don't want to. Keep it third person, or in one character's point of view. You can chance point of view with a new chapter, but personally I'd recommend you just stick to third person.
Just in case you don't actually know (gotta remember that not everyone's parents are english teachers ><) third person is 'he, she, they' etc. First is 'I, me, we' and second is 'you, your'.
person sanda
schedule April 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
good story
schedule April 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
to good
person ...
schedule April 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Don't change POV so often, and definitely don't label POV's.
schedule June 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hope you will update your fics soon. I read all three of them and I like them sooooo much.
person deb
schedule November 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you updated!! cheers claps and screams whooooooooooooo yea !!! great chapter oooo now thats nasty, i would love this story if this story you make harry a submissive! and Snape his dom
person angel
schedule November 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wow great story please more

angel
person sam
schedule November 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please update cant wait for more! whats gonna happen?!!
person deb
schedule November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please update!!! pleaseplease i cheak every day!