schedule
April 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hahahahaha, I love this!! It was amazing!
schedule
June 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful story and you show great potential as a up and coming author. I would recommend that you get yourself a beta, your spelling and combination of words are noticeably wrong and bring down the integrity of your creation. You might as a start proofread your paragraph after finishing it to see if to your eye, if spelling or whatever looks wrong to you. If they don\'t, then you may well have a reading disability and it would be worth your time to check it out and learn to develope techniques to work within your differculty. Now I figure my spelling is pretty good yet in my proofreading I came up with places that when I read it needed commas and I corrected atleast four things, so you see we should all proofread to advoid embarassment. Thanks for listening, tally-ho
schedule
June 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Lucius on a sugar high hehe that was an image that I would love to see in the books hehe. I can almost picture him jumping around Voldemort with a Pixie Stick in his hand hehe.
schedule
June 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh that was too too cute! I loved it!
schedule
June 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I agree with Me above, especially on the AU warning. I like stories where Sirius comes back, but I expect a plausible explanation.
Oh, and you should add an OOC warning. Because this is extremly OOC.
The general idea of the story was OK, but the way you wrote it was not (there just is no nice way to tell you that). You did not explain, illustrate, or payed attention to the feelings and motives of the characters. I got the impression that you just wanted to get over with it as soon as possible and did not enjoy writing.
You really have to work on the right speed, details and especially the characters. If you did not intend to write an OOC, it might be a good idea to read the books again, carefully, and note everything that indicates the character\'s character or motives.
All in all, I got the impression that you did not really wrote because you like it/want to express something/had this plotbunny, but because you just wanted to upload something (no matter how bad). Your writing seemed careless to me.
And last but not least. Get a beta. I know from experience that it is necessary if you are not a Native speaker.
Oh, and you should add an OOC warning. Because this is extremly OOC.
The general idea of the story was OK, but the way you wrote it was not (there just is no nice way to tell you that). You did not explain, illustrate, or payed attention to the feelings and motives of the characters. I got the impression that you just wanted to get over with it as soon as possible and did not enjoy writing.
You really have to work on the right speed, details and especially the characters. If you did not intend to write an OOC, it might be a good idea to read the books again, carefully, and note everything that indicates the character\'s character or motives.
All in all, I got the impression that you did not really wrote because you like it/want to express something/had this plotbunny, but because you just wanted to upload something (no matter how bad). Your writing seemed careless to me.
And last but not least. Get a beta. I know from experience that it is necessary if you are not a Native speaker.
schedule
June 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
First - it
schedule
June 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
wonderful... so cute... :)
schedule
June 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
awww...it was so cute! I heart it. it was cute when Draco said
schedule
June 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow,
Super, bravo, j\'ai beaucoup aim
Super, bravo, j\'ai beaucoup aim
schedule
June 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
very amusing!
^_^
^_^