schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You need to continue, just get a beta.
Now, I think there is a whole other problem with the plot - if all fey ase submissive than they always mate with someone who isn\'t fey. The resulting child would still have to be fey - otherwise the whole spesies would have dissapeared after the very first generation. So all fey are sort-of half bereeds. There is always something else mixed in, and it shouldn\'t stop them from coming into the inheritance and being fey. Because of that, these is no such thing as \"dormant\" fey blood. If Snape\'s grandfather had a kid with a fey, the kid would be just as fey as it\'s mother. That kid could have kids on his/her own (and carrieng them) and those kids would be of mixed blood, and, as usual for that kind, fully fey. And it would continue down the line in the same way. So Severus can\'t have some fey blood and not be fey. Any fey blood would make him fey, since that is the only way nature could ensure survival of the fey spesies when they are all \"submissive\".
So you might want to find a way to work around it.
Also I dissagree with your use of the term \"submissive\" here. What you were talking about is that all fey are the carriers of children, that is not the same thing as submissive. Submissive describes behavior, which can be from biological reasons in animals, but being submissive in behavior does not mean carrieng kids. Techmically, one can still be the... penetrating participant, while being submissive. For example the dominant riding the submissive. This way submissive can easily be the \"daddy\" and not the \"mommy\" of kids. The way you had Snape say it, was as if there is no difference between the two, like carrieng kids and being submissive is obviously the same thing. That\'s just... steriotyping, in a way, and plainly incorrect.
Other than that, it\'s a cute story, and you just need a beta. And as I have offered before - If you want I can do it. (Alexandrayusova@yahoo.com)
Now, I think there is a whole other problem with the plot - if all fey ase submissive than they always mate with someone who isn\'t fey. The resulting child would still have to be fey - otherwise the whole spesies would have dissapeared after the very first generation. So all fey are sort-of half bereeds. There is always something else mixed in, and it shouldn\'t stop them from coming into the inheritance and being fey. Because of that, these is no such thing as \"dormant\" fey blood. If Snape\'s grandfather had a kid with a fey, the kid would be just as fey as it\'s mother. That kid could have kids on his/her own (and carrieng them) and those kids would be of mixed blood, and, as usual for that kind, fully fey. And it would continue down the line in the same way. So Severus can\'t have some fey blood and not be fey. Any fey blood would make him fey, since that is the only way nature could ensure survival of the fey spesies when they are all \"submissive\".
So you might want to find a way to work around it.
Also I dissagree with your use of the term \"submissive\" here. What you were talking about is that all fey are the carriers of children, that is not the same thing as submissive. Submissive describes behavior, which can be from biological reasons in animals, but being submissive in behavior does not mean carrieng kids. Techmically, one can still be the... penetrating participant, while being submissive. For example the dominant riding the submissive. This way submissive can easily be the \"daddy\" and not the \"mommy\" of kids. The way you had Snape say it, was as if there is no difference between the two, like carrieng kids and being submissive is obviously the same thing. That\'s just... steriotyping, in a way, and plainly incorrect.
Other than that, it\'s a cute story, and you just need a beta. And as I have offered before - If you want I can do it. (Alexandrayusova@yahoo.com)
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
trust me, i have read far worse stories and i dont really see anything wrong with yours anyway. Dont let any asshole who probably doesnt write any stories of thier own discourage you from writing. i hope you keep going; dont give them the satisfaction of seeing you quit
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I hate leaving reviews, but I will in an atempt to change your mind. Spelling and grammer can only improve with practice. I am enjoying your story, and skipped sleep in order to read more. Please, use what constructive advice that you can, when you recieve reviews, and ignore the rest. I always believed that a story srould be for the authors enjoyment, sharing the story is just a bonus. I just happen to be one of the people you are sharing your story with, and I would like to see more.
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey, I love the uniqueness of your story. Harry is the cutestest little cat I\'ve ever seen. I\'d like to say that I hope you do continue the story. I can live through grammer; I had to take a couple months in school focusing all about grammer and somehow I survived...I don\'t know how, but it happened. I think this is one of the many fanfics that I though was awesome, and I saved the link so I could check up on it for updates :)! Your Harry is great as a cat, and I can\'t wait for how the story progresses! So, please finish the story or I\'ll be very sad!!! You don\'t want to make me sad do you? No? Good? :D
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You\'ve got to continue this!!!! It\'s fantastic! Please continue! I\'ve gotta have chapter 5 and many many more!
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
dont quiet the story plz
i love this story and i know there has to be others that love it also
so plz plz plz dont discontinue it
i think ur grammar is way better then mine
and it is alot better than alot of other stories i have read
so plz continue
one of ur faithful readers
pan
i love this story and i know there has to be others that love it also
so plz plz plz dont discontinue it
i think ur grammar is way better then mine
and it is alot better than alot of other stories i have read
so plz continue
one of ur faithful readers
pan
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you had soooo better continue this. it\'s origonal...as far as i\'ve seen. as for grammer and what not...phe... please continue!!
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Don\'t end it-please please please please continue it! I don\'t care about grammer, I like this story and I can\'t wait for more!
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really love your story! Please don\'t say you ll stop it! (italian) Io amo davvero la tua storia! Per favpre non dire che la fermerai! Baci
schedule
July 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Are you crazy?????? ofcourse you should continue it. I love your story mistakes and all( trust me I read worse). You must continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna know the ending and what severus is hiding so pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!