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December 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I'm still reading your story, and i really like it but i just wanted to make a note of this chapter. Who the fuck does Snape think he is? What right does he have to lecture Draco on hurting someone elses feelings after waking up from a coma after being tortuered for 2 whole fucking months?!?!?!?! Maybe later he could talk about it, but in the great scheme of things how Harry's feeling isn't very important. draco has so much mental scarring no dout, and if Harry managed to live for seven years knowing Draco was a prick and then assuming he joined the death eaters, what difference should it make if draco told him where to stick it again after being bloody torturerd!!!!!!!!!!!!! Asshole!
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December 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like the concept of your story, but it's got quite a few flaws. I'm not picking on you, beleive me that i know how hard it is to write a good story, and many of my attempts have been crap, but the only way i get better is by other people telling me what i need to improve on.
For example your characters dont always add up. What i mean by that is that one thing you write can contradict with another, and the way they act doesn't relate to certain parts of the plot. Draco's being tortured right? So he's bound to be going over those horrors in his head over and over again, yet in the story the only time youv'e written his toughts on it was when he was asleep and remebering. You wrote all of Harrys short torture, why not some more concious though of dracos? Soundn't he be dwelling on it instead of recovering and turning into a goody goody Griffindor? I mean that's another thing, when did he become so good and nice? i understand that he doesn't beleive in any of the prejudice crap and that people change, but the thing that made his such an entertaining character to read is his wit and sarcasm.
And Harry mentioning his past? Everytime i read a story Harry always uses his past as a way to justify any out of the ordinary action. He turns into such a pity party, when i think that draco has the right to be the one depressed. look at this
For example your characters dont always add up. What i mean by that is that one thing you write can contradict with another, and the way they act doesn't relate to certain parts of the plot. Draco's being tortured right? So he's bound to be going over those horrors in his head over and over again, yet in the story the only time youv'e written his toughts on it was when he was asleep and remebering. You wrote all of Harrys short torture, why not some more concious though of dracos? Soundn't he be dwelling on it instead of recovering and turning into a goody goody Griffindor? I mean that's another thing, when did he become so good and nice? i understand that he doesn't beleive in any of the prejudice crap and that people change, but the thing that made his such an entertaining character to read is his wit and sarcasm.
And Harry mentioning his past? Everytime i read a story Harry always uses his past as a way to justify any out of the ordinary action. He turns into such a pity party, when i think that draco has the right to be the one depressed. look at this
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August 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 10 please!
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August 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh I need chapter 9! Neither is going to take a chance are they? *sigh* It\'s gonna be up to Remus and Severus to get those two together unless Draco\'s trail and the truth serum can convince the two. Hmmm.
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August 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was good, i Liked it. Update soon
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July 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ron is going to be a problem! I can\'t wait for chapter 8! When will the club be open?
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July 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oh I can\'t wait for chapter 7!
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June 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oooh nice chapter huni :D :D more soon cya x
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June 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great chapter-can\'t wait for the next one!!
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June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oooh luv this fic! :D :D more soon... bad Draco-- u got told! :P cya xx