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rate_review Reviews

for Second chance; Second life

by MazzaMann

schedule March 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hey there Mazza_mann!

I did take a look at your story, and I\'m so glad I did! I absolutely love it! It\'s such a sweet story - it kind of makes you wish you could live like that :o) I really really love Mikayla!

There are some typos here and there, and it doesn\'t bother me, but I know some people gets bothered by it, so I just wanted to let you know. Maybe at some point you should consider getting a beta-reader. I have one, and I\'m very happy about that.

A good advice for you is to space out the text a bit more, making it easier to read.

If you hadn\'t suggested that I read your story, I would have never read it. I don\'t think your summary explains what kind of story this is very well, and I think that the people who would love your story the most, will be scared off by the summary.

When your only story code is \"tort\", people will think that this fic is mainly about torture. Of course, I don\'t know what you have in mind for the future, but I don\'t think it\'s torture? If the only torture in your fic is the that in the beginning of the story, I think you could change it to \"slight tort\". I also think that you should in some way explain in your summory that there is a girl involved in this story and she is the one to offer Draco a chance of escaping from his father.

Furthermore, as for the story codes, I think you should add H/C (hurt and comfort), and in case you have a Mikayla/Draco pairing in mind, you could add M/F as well, to attract the right kind of people.

That was my advice for you!

You have a really lovely story going here, and I\'ll definitely be following it!

I\'ll be looking forward to you next chapter.

Love Leonora.