rate_review Reviews

I loved this story. It took three days with my hectic schedual to finish it but it was so worth it. A personal Thank you for finishing your story. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

KCK-Lumcer

P.S. I would seriously consider going back over it and revising it though. there were quite a few missing words, miss spelled words, and some words that were suppose to spell something else. Again a great story.

Oh, WOW, that was amazing! Really wonderful story. I started it yesterday and just couldn't stop reading. If only all the stories on this site were as well done as yours.
Thank you for sharing!

=^-^=

If you made up a lie and told people that you were French or German or Greek, people might be more forgiving about the fact that you drive them up the wall with mistakes that are more age appropriate for an 8 year old than for someone who is writing fiction about homosexual relationships.

Decent enough story, but partway through ch 22, I just gave up on it due to the spelling and errors. The story doesn't seem to be written by a grade school child. The relationships are well described, and the story seems well plotted enough (at least for the first half), and I'd forgive the spelling if this was written on voice recognition software by someone who is quadriplegic. However, any 8 or 9 year old child would be able to improve this story by proofreading the non-sex scenes. I can't possibly correct the whole thing, and the author specifically has said that she doesn't give a shit about spelling or errors, that this is just for fun. However, to give potential readers an idea of what's going on:

ch 2. Ron and Hermione nodded, the red haired girl having put aside her book in favor of the conversation between her friends. [Ginny is not in the room with them, and Hermione does not have red hair]

ch 2. Admittedly he

a beautiful story. i loved snapes confession of love to harry on the quiditch field as the reason why he seemed less affected by the bond. i also loved the character of jasper a truely fitting brother to snape. the gun was also a welcome addition as magic so often dominates as a way to defend. the epilog was fab too, especially snapes reaction to the little bare bottom. i'm glad i found this story.

Really amazing story. The best that i've read in a while. I'm off now to read some more of your story.

good story, but you need a beta, or a better one if you have one. Misspellings and odd slang were distracting.

loving it so far. just one thing though. i thought maybe where snape asks if harry would have said "yes" if he'd simply asked that harry could maybe have said something like "we'll never know now." or something of the like. cos it makes leading on to a relationship sound a little less like harry would rather die than go there.
Raa
xxx

Very much enjoyed your story! I liked how you added muggle weapons in there too, the knife and the gun. Most authors only use magic in hp fanfiction but the combination of the two in your story made it more interesting. Thanks for writing!

Great story..now time to go read another one!

I thought for sure that Sev would use his family crest tattoo to kill Draco. I'd forgotten about the alternative way to kill him.