rate_review Reviews

Hi. I think your story has a great plot, but some of the details were a little lacking. And may I introduce you to spell and grammar check. You're writing is pretty good, but half the battle of being a great writer is appearances. Capitols at the beginnings of sentences and proper names and that sort of thing. Please keep writing and I hope you don't think me rude.

Hello.
I like your story, but; there are some spelling mistakes.
While english is not my native language, I'm willing to go over some of them in more detail if you like, just send me a mail and the webadress of the story, otherwise I might have some trouble finding the story.
One mistake I just have to point out is the name of Malfoy Sr.
The correct way to spell it is Lucius, I'm not pointing it out to be mean, but because it might make the story even better, if the spelling is correct.

With Regards
Skipper.

OMG! Please update soon!

i like the idea but i think you need a beta reader or you need to run over your grammar and spelling. considering the story is set in england you shouldn\'t write dollars you should write pounds. if you just run over the basic things like wizardery (wizardry) and patunia (petunia) you\'ll be fine.

upate i wanna see what happens next

And you know what? you shouldn\'t stop once you begin so, on with the next chappie!

You need a beta.

I like it!!!!!!!!
more please

Hmm... interesting, it\'s a good beginning, but you need a Beta to check spelling, shorthand doesn\'t quite work, and- Ah, I\'m sorry, I won\'t pick it apart, but do get a Beta, a friend, or random Author on the network to go over it and fix spelling, \"u\" should be \"you\" and \"i\" should be \"I\", that sort of stuff, the plot is beginning to be good. You should consider expanding on the letter from Albus, like say \"Dear Mr. Potter, I acknowledge that you feel cramped in the Dursley household, and you might feel desperate to get away, but please refrain from using lies to try to persuade a change of address. Rape is a serious issue, and it\'s horrors should not be underminded...\" or something. Expansion. This is not a flame, intentionally. Good plot and ideas overall. Aside from the spelling... EEEEEEEEE! Finally! Something that isn\'t \"Harry walks around Hogwarts and is taken advantage of by a random Slytherin/Voldemort disgused as a random Slytherin\"!!!! Wee! Something evilly cruel that seems a bit more real... Harry can get help at Hogwarts, but at the Dursleys, without his wand, he\'s nothing... that\'s a new, refershing origional idea! Hm... at least it wasn\'t Dudley that did it... *shudder*
Keep updating ne?

Later days,

Hateful and Blue.

I justread your authors note at the end... HOLY CRAP! This is the first you\'ve ever written!? Wow! I thought you\'d been into it for a while now... again, I like your ideas. I could Beta if you want, it\'s up to you though... hm... what did you think of Book Five?

Later days,

Hateful and Blue.