rate_review Reviews

Oh, fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun!!!!!! These little nightclub scenes are so....so.....yummy. Treats to read, honestly. And now you\'ve completely got me twisted up in a knot, waiting for our handsome boy to come back and beat up Potter\'s sexy face. Wow. Guys fighting over a girl?? Hot. Time to go take a nice COLD shower. Man, why couldn\'t I be in the story (starring in Laurel\'s role, of course)? Jeez. Talk about bad luck.

Right. Because I have limited time at the computer screen (grr...it ALWAYS seems to happen, doesn\'t it?), I\'ll cut straight to my suggestion of the evening. Dum dum dum.....DUM!!!! One thing I noticed a lot in your writing is the repeated use of three dots (you know, like this: ...). I know it\'s your style (I\'ve seen it before, of course, just not QUITE as many times in a row), and personally think that you might want to cut down on its usage just a wee bit. Just a bit. To me, I find text stronger when it\'s BAM BAM BAM, not BAM....bam....BAM. It gives me this sort of feeling that they\'re trains of thoughts that never quite find an ending point. Sometimes, when you use it, it\'s great. You give the impression that it\'s unfinished business, sort of insinuate a premonition, which is nice. But for some reason, especially in Chap the First of the two-fur, I seemed to find it a little repetitive. Like, Laurel shouldn\'t find him hot....persay....but she finds him sexy. Her hand fits perfectly in his. A fact, an idea, not a general gesture of a thought. Hm. I dunno. Maybe it\'s just tonight. But if you sort of see what I\'m saying - and look carefully at some of what you wrote - you might be able to cut out a few of them. You don\'t need to eliminate more than a couple, in all honesty.

You know what I think is brilliant about your writing? What keeps me so hooked? I loooooove the way you keep it serious and dark even when the moments are lighter. I didn\'t even know it was possible. Serious really IS the right word (not dark so much, I guess, though you\'re story can definitely lean in that direction). You keep it exciting, even when it\'s earnest. Awesome. Really inspiring.

Hm. I love you, you know. And this story. But most of all you. So basically all that\'s left to say is that I\'m SO glad you didn\'t wash your hands of the whole business. I would have KILLED you (meant to tell you that last time). And then would have loved you back into being. Kisses, darling. AND A BIG HUG! Now, POST. (Ooh, chappie of Puppet Master is coming on Fri! Yay!! Nervous about posting though. I\'m stuck on the next chapter. Sigh. Don\'t want to make it cliche, and with this plot twist, it will be easy to stray in that direction. Grr. I\'ll post anyways though, and get guidance from you. AND answer your questions...I PROMISE. Sorry \'bout that little selfish lapse. But I felt I had to share my doubts with somebody.) Right, but I love you. Post soon!!

~Alison

I really liked Draco\'s character, confident, but insecure at the same time. I really hope that you have Harry treading carefully around laurel, especially when it comes to Draco. I would really hate to see Draco torture Harry just for the hell of it.

ahhhh! *sighs with happiness*
now that was a lovely lovely chapter! ooo i love ron and draco\'s disgust for one another, so very funny! poor little weasel.. :)
jeez laurel control yourself darling, you know i don\'t think it\'s fair she takes up two guys (specially when they\'re draco and harry). i really wanna know what she saw in his soul though cos it\'s completely different to draco\'s.
i can\'t get enough of T N T though, they\'re just so snobby but in a funny kinda way! tad can\'t be all that ugly either he just ain\'t got a chance!
sorry i can\'t leave a humungous review cos i gotta do some work now, but kisses and hugs anyway,

xx princessgreta xx

I LOVE this chapter (21)!! I don\'t have any specific favorite parts, t hough....I just love the whole thing, lol!

Ok, goin\' to read the next one!

:-D

sigh...draco all jealous of harry...how cute...i just think it\'s hilarious how he gets haha...and aww his weakness is smart girls...that whole part was awesome i love it!!! so cute ahhh i cant get over it...keep updating...and i gotta tell you 2 chapters ata time is the only way to go!!! b/c then we get caught up and new chapters...ahh so exciting...

Lol, those little thingamabobs take lots of practice to get it right, lol....

The mental image of those three guys...MmmHmm....gets me sexcited...hehe..

Well, I absolutely LOVE this chapter too (22)!! The story starts really getting good right about now (not that it wasn\'t before, lol) but it starts getting more intense, I guess you could say. These last few chapters are definately some of my favorites!

I LOVE this story, and I can\'t wait for more!
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hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper DONT BE SAD! BE HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorz im hyper if u havent already guessed!!!!!! hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha HA im a little nuts right now woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hey when i make a capital e it looks like a capital b. wow my computers wierd. hahahahahahahaha woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo and whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! hahahahahahahaha ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok i\'ll stop. ok KEEP WRITING and TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF MY NEW 1RST CHATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok bye!

Oh yes!! This was soo enjoyable.
I think you already know that I check my mail at work. So, as I used to do with A Reason and some select others, I check my mail on arrival and if I see one of my dearest fictions has been updated, I just smile all day long, saving my lunch time for actually reading the updates.
I\'m having lunch now. Jiji.
This chapter was so fluent, but regretably short. I don\'t think it would have worked so well had you made it longer, but it\'s regrettable all the same.
I almost fell off my chair when Draco is trying to remember if anybody has ever told him that he is a good man and concludes \"nope, never\". So cute. I could tell him whatever he wanted to hear, though. He

yay, 2 more chapters! i hope youre working on chapters 30+ while all this reposting is going on... getting Three Keys twice a week is really starting to become quite a comfort... arg i cant wait for the new chapters to start showing up! weee!

WHAT? youve never heard of mediaminer? garsh, thats a new one. and its mediaminer .org btw, just in case you couldnt find it and was convinced i was crazy... but im not crazy, i swear! oh look at me, acting like a silly reviewer hyped on sugar. until next time!

-Wilby :)

I love your story, though I had a hard time tracking it down when it dissapeared from fanfiction.net.
The only negative thing I have to say is : PLEASE DON\'T EVER WRITE FRENCH AGAIN !!!
Everything was perfect, but your french is just horrendous! (I do not critisize without knowing, I am french, hence the intense reaction)
You can not imagine all the fanfictions I\'ve read where people try to include french sentences (especially Anita Blake ffs) and
just butcher, no massacre, the french language. If you are not certain about it, or if you do not have someone to look it over, please do not do it.

Please keep up the good work, I will await your next update impatiently.