rate_review Reviews

Um...yes, I\'ll go ahead and take the more toned down version of \"smarmy bastard.\" The chapter was totally hot but the writing was not. Narcissa was almost hot...but her weakness is rather frustrating. I mean, for christ sakes, girl, is he really THAT great? Why don\'t you just go frig yourself?
Hm...yes, anyway, I prefer a more thougtful, misunderstood type man for lemony goodness, but I\'m sure that will come in time.
This chapter was so intense. I remember how it sort of surprised me that first time. Didn\'t see it coming.

You know, this chapter 12, it\'s pretty damn good! I like the interaction between Narcissa and Draco. She\'s gonna die though, isn\'t she? I get that feeling very strongly.
Anyway...I like very much that Draco loves his mom. And I thought his reaction to Wormtail was kinda funny. That repulsion, you know. Someone as strong-willed and not-self-involved-exactly but more self-appreciating would have that reaction.
Haha...poor Lucius. Everybody\'s being snotty to him. Even Wormtail.

God. So much fucking tension at home is not good for any child, especially not for a child who wants a lot of loving attention, like Draco.
Quite forceful dream. I wonder if Draco and Laurel were meant to be together? I wonder if they\'re going to undergo some hardship?
This Draco is so...I dunno...weird. But in a good way. It\'s just that what he DOES is so unusual. I mean his summer is just sitting around taking naps and thinking. I wish my summers were like that too. Of course, I wouldn\'t want to think about the same sort of thing. Maybe YOU would. Yes, you would. You\'d like to sit around napping and thinking about Lucius.

I actually hadn\'t read this chapter. Laure\'s recovery. So it\'s new. Woohoo.
You have this habit (and I\'m not going to judge as to whether it\'s actually good or bad) of being amazingly blunt as to your characters\' feelings. Let me paraphrase a few lines that stick out in my memory:
\"I hate the way you make me feel, Lucius.\" -Narcissa
\"Why doesn\'t anybody understand me?\" -Laurel
And then, there\'s all of that Draco stuff. The \"I hate what my father\'s done to me and my mother\" stuff.
Do I do it too?
Anyway-YES! We\'re off to England!

Oh my. The pitiful Draco chapter. Shivering naked. How could I forget? This is the naked you\'re referring to in the summary, right?
Gosh. He REALLY needs to get out of the house. Seeing him in this position...I dunno. It\'s just not turning me on all that much. I can\'t wait to see him later, at school. See what he\'s like when he\'s really in his element (and it IS sad that he\'s not in his element in his own home).
And I wonder what he\'s gonna be like when he learns to let someone in. Get the love that he didn\'t get in childhood. I mean, he SAYS he\'s not going to let anyone in for fear of getting them hurt, but we know what\'s gonna happen.
I\'m getting more into this story than I was before.

Hm. How do I hold onto my hat AND put my arms in the air??? I spose I could take the hat off my head (pink bowler with leopard spots, OF COURSE) and hold it in the air with my arms......ah, yes. I forget I am not alone. Heh heh.....Yes, I COMPLETELY get what you meant by the elipses (conveying hesitation). It\'s what I was trying to get at, actually, but I didn\'t quite know how to say it. The hesitation!! Yes!! That\'s what it\'s called!! And I looked back over chap. 21, and think it\'s muy better. Just enough taken out to soften the emphasis a bit.

Ah, as for my update....I was writing the response to your review (it got quite long...lots of info in there) and had no time to acutally post. I hope to get it up tomorrow, but we\'ll have to see. It was all set though, and I\'m feeling much better about this upcoming chapter after a few votes of confidence from you and Ally. It\'s going to take a little longer to post, that\'s all, especially since I\'m going away for Spring Break this Saturday. Or Friday. Can\'t remember which.

Now, back to you. The thing I loved most about this particular chapter was the avoidance of the admittance that Laurel was a witch. I had sort of forgotten they didn\'t know, and it made this whole encounter all the more interesting. What made it even MORE intriguing was that Draco kissed her (sexy, very sexy) even though she was a \"Muggle.\" Like you said in one of your earlier chapters, even he was interested in Muggle women when they were that good-looking, or something along those lines. It was just wierd to think of Draco Malfoy having feelings and promising a relationship with someone from a completely different culture - one that he looks down on. Hell, Malfoy promising ANYTHING is just wierd. But it\'s what makes HG/DM fics so interesting...they have only utter disgust for each other, though his tends to be rooted in disgust of her background, on top of resentment for her brilliance and morals. To so willingly accept Laurel, though he would usually hold nothing but contempt for her, makes him a bit more human. Well, not human. But different than the Draco we\'re used to. Not that that\'s a bad thing, necessarily. It makes him more sincere and selfless in his little \"heroic act\" to save Harry\'s ass.

What I also found interesting was Laurel\'s perception of his thoughts to die alone. Unloved, you said. Unloved? But Narcissa loves him, though I\'m sure to a teenage boy her decision seems to contradict that. My best guess is that you\'re referring to his lack of romantic love. Or maybe his father\'s disgust. And now, Laurel loves him. Unloved may be the wrong word....he wouldn\'t be missed. That I could believe in. Draco\'s never been anyone\'s favorite person (except himself, naturally), but he isn\'t unloved. Just his death wouldn\'t mean very much to that many people.

Okay, I\'m rambling here. Ignore the above thoughts if thou so wisheth. Love you, darling!! Update soon soon soon soon soon!! And I will, too. And I will hopefully be able to review faster, too!

~Me.

Wow. There was a moment-that moment when Draco was afraid their might be someone in the room under an invisibility cloak. That was a really creepy moment. I wish it had been longer because it was good.
Anyway-ya, arguing Draco and Lucius, for some reason, isn\'t really my thing. I guess it\'s because (at least in your story) Draco so obviously outmatches his father in everything but age...and a lack of scruples. Draco needs a few less feelings to really whip Lucius\' butt. Okay, I change my mind. It\'s OKAY to see them argue but I can\'t wait for Draco to put Lucius in his place once and for all.

Ah...I like Narcissa better when she loves Lucius. You know, it HAD been obvious, but somehow I didn\'t consider the fact that anyone could love someone so icky. Well, I like her better for it. It explains why she\'s so hot for him and it gives her damn good reason to kill him.
But I do want to see Draco kick his ass! I hope that comes before Narcissa offs him. Oh well, I\'m sure it\'d be fine even without.
I was wondering...does Draco have any faults? I want to see him at school as well because he really does not seem to have any faults. Unless you count wallowing in misery and self-pity. Maybe I should count that, but really, I wouldn\'t exactly blame him for it.

Yay. So he\'s finally getting out. He needs it. There\'s too much crying in his house.
How does he stay \"rock hard\" when he\'s stuck in his room all the time?
Do you know what a barn owl looks like? I think I used to write random owls into stories sometimes (or maybe not, I\'m not sure) but since REE, I made it my business to know a little more about owls. I used to imagine barn owls as the cute ones, but those are actually screech owls. Barn owls are the David Bowie owls. You\'ve seen The Labyrinth, right? Hmm...if not, I imagine it might be something you like. Maybe. I\'m not really sure.
Anyway...finally! He\'s getting out!

God, I\'m so sorry it took me so long to get here! Am I on the email list?
Anyway, YAY DRACO AND LAUREL (and DracoxHermione, too, just not at this particular moment) Can\'t wait til the new chapters are ready!

Cya soon! Luv always, Rorikins