AFF Fiction Portal
person armpit
schedule January 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this sucks;

mary sues.

*must restrain self not to kill author*
person hockeyman
schedule January 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
u ever gonna create nother chapter................................
person hockeyman
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great story so far cant wait till next part but try to space out your paragrphs a bit =)
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is my frist story so be gental yet critical i no i\'m contradicting myself, but hey i really take your review to heart
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i\'ll space my paragraphs out more, i do have more chapters written i believe me and my co author are just starting to write chapter 9 wwhich is the first sex scene! so it may take a while for us to create something sexy but original
person Daisy Mae
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Key elements: Needs a beta. Needs a new story. Needs an idea for a story.

So, this is what toilet paper looks like before they put it on the roll.
person Jibel
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
HI
cuwl first chapter :P
Please write more :P
greetz J.