schedule
April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very groovy story so far. I am totally digging it. I like your writing style.
*here are some cookies. Really don\'t like the icing half so you can have them*
*here are some cookies. Really don\'t like the icing half so you can have them*
schedule
April 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
As interesting as sex may be, I think it\'s too early. I vote for cute (and funny) accidental cuddling. (Maybe with erections). LMAO
schedule
April 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Heezo, hun!
Pretty spiffy fic ya got runn\' here!
I have to admit, I\'ve had an almost uncontrolable urge to re-beta it from the start, because even though my understanding is that Lenny beta\'d it first, I still have a twitchy hand and my tablet pen starts scribbling across the monitor *snerk*
It\'s funny, because I didn\'t have any idea that this was what your story was about when I mentioned abused!Harry and Angst!Comfort!Snape in our current fic :D
I laughed when I immediatly recognized the little LOTR ref a few chapters back. Funny thing is, thats a fairly long song, too! ^0^ I love how Draco sang it all !
And I also noticed how you like to, erm, how to I say this...? Cliffhanger the dirty parts? That is, you do the dotdotdot thing ^ ^
As you must\'ve realized, I have a tendency to write all the lovely gross details:
\"Verson smirked down at the image of a sullyed Harry Potter.
\'Funny,\' he laughed in a voice that sounded much more like a bark, \' How you\'re reduced to nothing when stripped of all your precious magic...\'
Harry glanced pleadingly up at his uncle, but the man merely thrust harder and Harry felt his head bounce ungracefully against the wall and tears sprang to his eyes. He squeezed his eyes tight to hide the tears but they began to drop like heavy dew. As he tried not to grimace, he felt the pain build up in his cheeks and his lips, red, wet, and bruised, slackened.
With a sharp nudge, Harry was able to control the reflex out of fear...\"
Whoo! I can\'t wait to continue writing that story! I promise I\'ll get on it as soon as I\'ve got some time!
Well, off to go finish my Biology Trace Movement stuffs. Can\'t wait to read more!!
*huggles*
\"I love you too kids, now get off...\"
\"...No!\"
Pretty spiffy fic ya got runn\' here!
I have to admit, I\'ve had an almost uncontrolable urge to re-beta it from the start, because even though my understanding is that Lenny beta\'d it first, I still have a twitchy hand and my tablet pen starts scribbling across the monitor *snerk*
It\'s funny, because I didn\'t have any idea that this was what your story was about when I mentioned abused!Harry and Angst!Comfort!Snape in our current fic :D
I laughed when I immediatly recognized the little LOTR ref a few chapters back. Funny thing is, thats a fairly long song, too! ^0^ I love how Draco sang it all !
And I also noticed how you like to, erm, how to I say this...? Cliffhanger the dirty parts? That is, you do the dotdotdot thing ^ ^
As you must\'ve realized, I have a tendency to write all the lovely gross details:
\"Verson smirked down at the image of a sullyed Harry Potter.
\'Funny,\' he laughed in a voice that sounded much more like a bark, \' How you\'re reduced to nothing when stripped of all your precious magic...\'
Harry glanced pleadingly up at his uncle, but the man merely thrust harder and Harry felt his head bounce ungracefully against the wall and tears sprang to his eyes. He squeezed his eyes tight to hide the tears but they began to drop like heavy dew. As he tried not to grimace, he felt the pain build up in his cheeks and his lips, red, wet, and bruised, slackened.
With a sharp nudge, Harry was able to control the reflex out of fear...\"
Whoo! I can\'t wait to continue writing that story! I promise I\'ll get on it as soon as I\'ve got some time!
Well, off to go finish my Biology Trace Movement stuffs. Can\'t wait to read more!!
*huggles*
\"I love you too kids, now get off...\"
\"...No!\"
schedule
April 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
WAHOO!!! I love it! Can I vote for cute cuddling closely followed by hot steamy sex? Thus I can have the best of both worlds. You had a few grammatical errors that should be changed, (maybe from the crash?) Anyway write more soon.
schedule
April 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
accidental cuddeling.
I dont think Harry would be in a mental state to want or appreciate sex at this point in his life. Sexual abuse can and does mess people up for the rest of there lives. Harry needs to heal, before he can love physically, and Snape needs to be patient and nurture him. Snape has been in that situation before, so he should understand and be willing to help Harry.
I was surprised at how clueless...or ignorant you made Snape. (not that its a bad thing, but im used to him being the insufferable know it all, and arrogant.) Having Draco order him about was diffrent. *giggles*
Also, YAAA! Drusley got his wang chopped off! He bloody well deserved that! Fucking fucker! (abusers suck and deserve to die!!!)
I dont think Harry would be in a mental state to want or appreciate sex at this point in his life. Sexual abuse can and does mess people up for the rest of there lives. Harry needs to heal, before he can love physically, and Snape needs to be patient and nurture him. Snape has been in that situation before, so he should understand and be willing to help Harry.
I was surprised at how clueless...or ignorant you made Snape. (not that its a bad thing, but im used to him being the insufferable know it all, and arrogant.) Having Draco order him about was diffrent. *giggles*
Also, YAAA! Drusley got his wang chopped off! He bloody well deserved that! Fucking fucker! (abusers suck and deserve to die!!!)
schedule
April 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
drunken sex, baby!
schedule
April 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Sex of coure would be the logical choice.
schedule
April 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
cute accidental cuddling followed by sex in the morning (or atleast some form of smut) when both are sober, pwetty pwetty pwease :-) btw i love your fic, update soon please, huggles and candy ella xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
schedule
April 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
LOL Draco is my new hero, yay Draco. I vote for going slow, with some cuddling, you know they fall asleep and wake up in each others arms kind of thing and then...... bugger going slow, they kiss and then mmm I guess it\'s up to you though cos whatever you write I\'ll love it.
Hugs
Kat
Hugs
Kat
schedule
April 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'ve just sat down and read the first 26 chapters and then skimmed your reviews. I can say that your writing has improved as you\'ve gone on and that although Snape is a bit OCC and least he\'s being consistent... that is a good thing ;-).
Don\'t let unfavourable reviews put you down, true the chapters are short but would people prefer a longer chapter or fewer updates? I don\'t really mind but than again I did save it all up for one big read! I can\'t critise for shortness I don\'t write FanFiciton much longer than 3000 words total :-)
Continuing to write is the only way to improve grammar/spelling. Try writing in word and turning on the spell check/grammar check as you go. I know it\'s annoying but it will pick up most of the problems as you go along making the post-editing easier.
I don\'t think you should rush Harry and Sev into sex, you\'ve set them both up to have a lot of issues around sex so it would be more realistic if they take it easy - although maybe not the popular vote.
One last thing, about oreo cookies. Sev is a Brit, (just like me) and we don\'t tend to eat oreo cookies. A good equivalent brit bickie is the bourbon cream, similar to the oreo but a rectangle and the cream in the middle is chocolate. And they are a lot nice in my opinion... Hel Bee offers a packet... hmmm nice... just a Brit Pick nothing serious *smirk*
I\'ll keep an eye out for your updates and look forward to them.
Don\'t let unfavourable reviews put you down, true the chapters are short but would people prefer a longer chapter or fewer updates? I don\'t really mind but than again I did save it all up for one big read! I can\'t critise for shortness I don\'t write FanFiciton much longer than 3000 words total :-)
Continuing to write is the only way to improve grammar/spelling. Try writing in word and turning on the spell check/grammar check as you go. I know it\'s annoying but it will pick up most of the problems as you go along making the post-editing easier.
I don\'t think you should rush Harry and Sev into sex, you\'ve set them both up to have a lot of issues around sex so it would be more realistic if they take it easy - although maybe not the popular vote.
One last thing, about oreo cookies. Sev is a Brit, (just like me) and we don\'t tend to eat oreo cookies. A good equivalent brit bickie is the bourbon cream, similar to the oreo but a rectangle and the cream in the middle is chocolate. And they are a lot nice in my opinion... Hel Bee offers a packet... hmmm nice... just a Brit Pick nothing serious *smirk*
I\'ll keep an eye out for your updates and look forward to them.