rate_review Reviews

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Sevvy gave Harry a kitten!!! =^-^= Oooooo! What\'s he gonna name her? =^.^=


*shies away from you, as you eat your eggs and toast, turning a light shade of green* ...ugh...X_X

^^ Oooo! Lemme help! *joins you in making \'evil\' plans against her family*

I\'m glad you updated! =^-^=

Oooo! I FINALLY figured out how to use my recomended reading section! Go check it out! *wink*

XD;;; Forgot to say this:

I\'m curious about cockroach-crunch icecream. O_O I wonder if it\'s any good...
And YAY for cookies and cream! XD Though I like chocolate chip cookie dough beter. XD
And what\'s a lime lolly? OO;;

See, this is the reason why authors need to adhere to basic standards of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Your story might be quite good. I wouldn\'t know, because I can\'t stand to read it. What put me off? \"fllubberworm puss\" in the first chapter. It\'s \'flobberworm\', and \'pus\' and it\'s bubotubers that make pus in the Harry Potter universe. Three mistakes in two words has got to be some kind of record. Not willing to write this story off quite yet, I skim a few more chapters. There\'s a veritable plague of typos. The characters are unrecognizable. In chapter 26, I was treated to a chunk of dialogue in which Harry and Draco engage in infantile squabbling more suited to five year-olds. If that weren\'t enough, the dialogue is broken only by single paragraph breaks instead of double, thereby guaranteeing a migraine inside of ten minutes.

If you want to improve your story, get a beta. Not someone who will tell you it\'s fabulous and she\'s dying to read more, but someone who can tell the difference between \'latter\' and \'later\' and is willing to correct you. Someone who can fix your dialogue issues and knows when (not) to use a comma.

And if you want to fix all the flubbed Harry Potter details, I highly recommend the Harry Potter Lexicon. It\'s even great for ideas. http://www.hp-lexicon.org/

Aww!!! That was ADORABLE! I loved that chapter! Thank you

Love it So!!! More chocolates for you and your lovely muse! - Jessica

How sweet. We just got a kitten too, all black. Good chapter,but please make them longer next time, you are teasing.

cdk

Lascivious Lime Lolly???? Only for Severus!!! lol

The Cockroach Crunch was made for Draco, clever idea!

Awwww, a birthday present for Harry and a soft, cuddly kitten, no less. STEP ONE: Severus starts his insinuation into Harry\'s life and love.

What about the Ice Cream Cart man, I don\'t trust him. Is he a spy? or something??????

Thanks for the Reviewers response. It\'s really great that the authors stay in touch with all their reviewers, even though it can be a lengthy process. We love you too!

O.k., now, longer and more story please.

LOL!!!
Like it like it like it like it!!!
btw, this is the first story in which i don\'t mind short chapters :P as long as you keep updating often i don\'t mind at all :D
please continue!!!!

ths is wonderful really funny and all that add in whatever complaments you would like
poor harry and his first hangover

*squee*

Heh heh, I love the part when Draco was like, \"one fourteen in the afternoon...\" I do that all the time on the weekend, when my dad wakes me up. I yell at him not to wake me up so early, when it\'s really about 3pm. Pfft. I\'m a dork. ^_^

Can\'t wait for more, my dear Prongsy!

\"Draco smirked, shovelling his messy breakfast into his mouth.
“What’s his problem?”
Severus grinned, taking a sip of his coffee.
“First hangover.”
“Our little boy is growing up.”\"

LOL. I love the way Draco and Sev are interacting too. Poor Harry...