AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Naughty Girl

by gypsybaby21

person repressed
schedule January 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i liked that. please continue.
person Jen
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great! Another chapter is needed.
person Susan
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I think you have something that could be worthwhile. The nice thing about posting here is that you can work on it. I like your writing style, but you may want to wind some parts out. I don\'t see Hermione falling for all three passwords...maybe you could take a step back and do each as a separate chapter. I also have a hard time seeing Snape taking her viginity in such a violent way(in this story anyway). Girls wouldn\'t be bragging that it is great to shag the Prof. LOL. In anycase, I really hope you continue this, maybe from a Snape point of view or, as I mentioned, draw it out a bit. And above all, keep writing. Well done for a first attempt...hell, it was well done for many an attempt. Good luck in your next story. I will read it! :)
person Anon
schedule January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not bad, keep going.
schedule January 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That was definately naughty!! Continue! Continue!! Loved it!
person pinkyheather
schedule January 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
you should totally continue this. or do a sequel. either or.
person Anon
schedule January 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
continue please
can\'t just leave it off there
atleast give hermione her orgasm.
write more ok.
person lovia silverleaf
schedule January 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You did very well for your first Snape/Hermione fic. It could use a little work to spice it up but over all it was very well written and has great potential. Should you need a beta reader let me know. I do beta reading for a couple other people I know.
schedule January 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AGH!You have to write more!Ohh, very good original SS/HG fic.One of the best I\'ve read in a long time!Please update soon!
person dragon34
schedule January 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
When I started reading fanfic, I started with SS/HG fics. They were great, I really think this one has potential to be one of them. please another chapter.

jeannette