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November 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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November 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
RE: chapter one
Oh my God! *SQUEE* I love the possibilities of this story! ;-D
Oh my God! *SQUEE* I love the possibilities of this story! ;-D
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August 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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March 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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July 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters? Or can you write a sequel to this story please?
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January 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ch 3 (your note) - well, he did tell Hermione \"we
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January 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This really isn\'t very sexy you know.
If you\'re going to write about sex, you need to keep it within the realms of what\'s believable. (As a side note, you can\'t really say you\'re trying to keep Snape in character, because it\'s unlikely he\'d ever shag a student. So if that\'s really what you were after, he\'d give her detention with Filch for a month and report her to Minerva.) Anyway, what that means is you don\'t have to write Snape as some unfeeling, thoughtless shag. Why would you want to have sex with the man under those circumstances? You\'d turn and run for the door.
If he\'s supposed to be good in bed, he\'d be seductive: give her a chance to get used to things before he moved on to the next item on the agenda. More kissing, more fondling, more foreplay over all. You don\'t suddenly start whipping people - not unless you want to write a non-consensual scene. People into that sort of thing tend to negotiate what they are going to do before beginning. At the very least, they start off slowly and warm the whippee up, so that it is a sensual experience and not violent.
If someone bent you over a desk, and slammed into you causing you pain - again, you\'d be running out of the door, or you\'d be in tears. You wouldn\'t be smiling up at him at the end. Perhaps entering her a little more slowly? Especially since he knows she\'s inexperienced.
The three passwords could have been very sexy if you\'d used them as part of the build up, but you just threw that away.
If you\'re going to write about sex, you need to keep it within the realms of what\'s believable. (As a side note, you can\'t really say you\'re trying to keep Snape in character, because it\'s unlikely he\'d ever shag a student. So if that\'s really what you were after, he\'d give her detention with Filch for a month and report her to Minerva.) Anyway, what that means is you don\'t have to write Snape as some unfeeling, thoughtless shag. Why would you want to have sex with the man under those circumstances? You\'d turn and run for the door.
If he\'s supposed to be good in bed, he\'d be seductive: give her a chance to get used to things before he moved on to the next item on the agenda. More kissing, more fondling, more foreplay over all. You don\'t suddenly start whipping people - not unless you want to write a non-consensual scene. People into that sort of thing tend to negotiate what they are going to do before beginning. At the very least, they start off slowly and warm the whippee up, so that it is a sensual experience and not violent.
If someone bent you over a desk, and slammed into you causing you pain - again, you\'d be running out of the door, or you\'d be in tears. You wouldn\'t be smiling up at him at the end. Perhaps entering her a little more slowly? Especially since he knows she\'s inexperienced.
The three passwords could have been very sexy if you\'d used them as part of the build up, but you just threw that away.
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January 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Yes please continues I want to read more!!! Please don\'t stop!!! I hope you do write more!!!! And I didn\'t see any mistakes so you did good on your typing. P.S. I am also beta person If you need any help with that!! TTFN SAYOONARA!!
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January 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This was a great fic....i hope you do a continuation on it!
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January 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
naughty girl indeed! lol rough snape!! teehee nice job