AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Secret

by LunaStarbreeze

person Anon
schedule November 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
person Anon
schedule July 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
person Anon
schedule February 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
person Megan Consoer
schedule December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
person Megan Consoer
schedule June 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
person Maleficent
schedule January 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
...Darling, darling darling. I just...I don\'t know where to begin.
How old are you? Like 12, 13 I suppose? You should be playing with barbies, not writing sex scenes, especially when you\'ve never had sex. That is definitely apparent.
Your grammar is horrible, the plot is ridiculous, and during the whole story, I couldn\'t help having an internal battle: Should I hang myself or maybe just you?
Seriously...I urge you not to pick up a pen or a keyboard again until you grasp at least a passing familiarity with the English language, and DO NOT write sex scenes again until you have experienced it or know what you\'re talking about.
Have a nice day.
person Katie
schedule January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Thsi story was soooooooooooooooooo good!! I don\'t no why all those other people said it was bad!!! It was very sexxy More MOre More!!!!!
person Anon
schedule January 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
maybe you should look into a beta reader, or try posting at fanfiction.net
person anonymoustip
schedule January 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Honey, how old are you?

If you hadn\'t noticed, this is an adult site. I\'m sorry to say, but your writing shows something less than that. I think it would be best if you worked with a beta-reader because they could help re-format your story into something more appropriate for a website such as this.
person Veelacity
schedule January 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'m guessing that the \"13\" in \"Dracos_Girl13\" means you\'re 13 years old. In that case, we\'ll excuse you for being clueless about sex, and for your horrible spelling.

But really... this Hermione/Snape sex scene is so ridiculous! And do learn to spell \"tongue\" - it is not \"tounge\".