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January 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like it so far. It\'s a different spin on the whole story. Keep it going!
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January 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The idea is not new, but your take on it is interesting and has me hooked wanting to read more. Its a very good opening chapter, and a few misspelled words but nothing that took away from my enjoyment of the chapter. Please update soon.
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January 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I give this 3 1/2 out of five stars. Half-a-star deducted for grammar quirks and the full star for some plot points.
*Completely* original premise, and I have to say I approve. I would never have thought to make Hermione a Pureblood--
To me it took away some of her \"specialness,\" but you make this *fascinating.*
Look most forward to seeing what\'s coming up next!
*However*--There really *should* be more emotion displayed between the characters, British or no!
(The British are hardly renowned for their emotional availability...)
A mother who had raised her daughter for 18 years would *not* just go and say \"Have a nice life, Dear\" when confronted with the idea that this daughter was leaving the safety of hearth and home for an involvement in Dark politics.
Nor would the announcement of Hermione\'s being adopted go over so easily, despite the fact that both her and her mother are rational people.
At any rate, I\'ve rambled on enough--Mostly, *keep writing!*
Regards,
AquilaLorelei
*Completely* original premise, and I have to say I approve. I would never have thought to make Hermione a Pureblood--
To me it took away some of her \"specialness,\" but you make this *fascinating.*
Look most forward to seeing what\'s coming up next!
*However*--There really *should* be more emotion displayed between the characters, British or no!
(The British are hardly renowned for their emotional availability...)
A mother who had raised her daughter for 18 years would *not* just go and say \"Have a nice life, Dear\" when confronted with the idea that this daughter was leaving the safety of hearth and home for an involvement in Dark politics.
Nor would the announcement of Hermione\'s being adopted go over so easily, despite the fact that both her and her mother are rational people.
At any rate, I\'ve rambled on enough--Mostly, *keep writing!*
Regards,
AquilaLorelei
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January 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like the first chapter. I really want to see what happens when she activates the portkey. I think it will take Severus by surprise. I can\'t wait for the update.
schedule
January 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
this is a somewhat good start. You really should find a beta to work with you. I like the premise of the story and I can\'t wait to see how you take it.