rate_review Reviews

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

OMG! THAT WAS SWEET!That Was Very Good.

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

i really enjoyed reading ur fanfic! lovely story! haha....it was excellent but some advice if i may?....to make ur story a bit longer u could build up the sexual tension a bit more before they actuallly do the deed. ;) other than that, very nicely written and i LOVED how u ended with her bumping his desk and they getting detention again....yippee for u! good job....u should continue writing!

very well done^^ i liked it

Yay, what a nice story!
I liked it. nothing more to say. Good work!

i liked it, it was very good.

Amazing! Keep it up. And by the way, you really need to do more like this

I think the other reviewer\'s had a good point about trying to keep your characters... well, in character. I know there are currently alot of fics out there where Hermione or Draco suddenly change personality... but (for me personally) those stories are a little bit boring and tiresome. Mostly because its like whoever wrote it wanted to write smut, and was too unimaginative to write their own plot and characters. The whole point of Fanfiction type stories is to write your own version, but also (I think) emulate the author as much as possible, in attempt to do justice to the author. Well, those of us who read/write under Dr/Hr section pretty much fail that last part no matter what, I still think its important to try and emulate the author as best possible. (What I mean about the failing the second part is, if I remember right Rowling already said there will be no romance in the HP series between Dr/Hr... so.... no justice to the author there, just to those of us wanting it. =D)

That being said, there are a few punctuation points. Simple things like when a character spoke you forgot a comma or period. \"blah blha blah\" said Hermione. ... Should be \"Blah blha blah,\" said Hermione. Moot as it might seem, it makes reading the story much easier, and doesn\'t take away from the story.

Even though the whole plot wasn\'t too original, it was done in a very cute manner, and I really liked the end. Also very cute, Happy-hinting-type ending thing with out having to tell your readers \"The End.\" (Sorry, I haven\'t got a better way to explain what I mean.)

So keep writing, it all takes practice and all that jazz! <3 yours truly, from Lalaland.

(P.S. Sorry for the ramble at the top! Hopefully you were able to make some sense of that.)

This is good for a first fic. The whole detention thing is a little predictable, but its a good starting point. If you think of a more original plot-line (or PWP-line as the case may be ;)) or put a twist in an existing one, I think you have great potential. So good luck and I hope you do well!