rate_review Reviews

WHY DIDN\'T YOU MAKE ANY OF MY CORRECTIONS?

I will Beta for you. E-mail me at the above address!

i\'d beta for you but i lead a very active life, so i wouldn\'t have the time. hope someone else does! can\'t wait for the next chapter!

Plz continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

What the heck? I actually liked it! That was a dirty trick!

I thought it was cute. There is one thing though that I would change; When changing from person to person when doing POV don\'t use a lot of frilly marks when . . . works just as well. You can use them of course, but it tends to detract from the story. Also, during the bathroom scene you switched points of view but you went back in the story. The scene should flow smoothly despite the changing POVs.

I liked the characters, how you made them interact, and your use of dialogue to tell the story instead of putting dialogue tags on like so many people do to say \'she said darkly\' etc. It\'s always better to show that she said it darkly etc rather than just saying it. Also be careful of using /. It can detract from the story as well. Overall a good job and I hope that you continue it.

Not bad. There are very few Mauraders fics & very few about how James & Lily got together...

Keep up the good work

Awesome beginning to a story, please continue with this! You seem to have a natural flow for it as well, i will be anticipating till your next chapter is posted.

I was so disappointed when I saw that you haven\'t continued this past Chapter One, and to answer your question:

YES!!! Oh, most definitely. I really was looking forward to reading more of it! Augh! Please continue!!!!