rate_review Reviews

ur story really isn\'t that good. there is very little character development. it is too OOC and all the characters annoy the hell out of me.

To be honest, everyone seems to be raving about \'Delightful Pain\' and after reading all this plus comments I decided to check that out and although its not as bad, I don\'t see what all the fuss is about. You have an.... undeveloped writing style. I don\'t want to be nasty because no one wants a nasty review no matter what they say, but neither of these fics is amazing material to me. You have the potential to be a good writer but you\'re not very skilled at taking preformed characters such as Draco and Hermione and using them realistically. Of course they\'re never going to get together in the books, but I mean realistic as in we should be able to believe that they would say the things they say, and I\'m just not geting that in your fics. Its better in DP but in this one I got the impression other people are getting - Hermione sounds like a stereotypical dumb blonde, Draco doesn\'t sound like Draco, and all the minor characters sound like lesser versions of the major characters.

You have the potential to write something good, thats evident from some parts of DP. You\'re not using it though. You have to remember with HP that for these characters to be believeable and enjoyable they need to conform to their roles, unless you\'re using them for a one-off smut shot, which is forgiveable because a little smut is never a bad thing, and even then its good to stick to what you know about a character rather than try and make them into something they\'re not. But you\'re trying to write serious fics that involve serious issues around characters many people know and adore, and you\'re never going to get fantastic reviews from the people who actually know something about writing - they are the ones that post can critically and don\'t use the phrase \'OMG!!!\' - if you don\'t respect how those characters have to be.

As a final note - you said you\'d explain why Hermione sounds like a dumb blonde valley girl. Either I missed it or you didn\'t - why is it? I can\'t see any logical reason myself.

Your story is shit. Your writing style is shit. Grow up, you little valley girl idiot, and learn how to write.

update soon plz post another chapter continue this story please

Girl u are a talented person, i have read this story on mugglenet, on fanfiction and on here i cant get enough of it, it is seriously the best story every written, i reckon you should become a write....omg but its so sad at the moment, :( i dont like it when they break up, i\'ve printed this out and every time. dont you listen to the flams u have (altho u probably dont have any) but dont listent to them hunny u rock. UPDATE SOON PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! i want more draco and hermione love and sex to, cant forget the sex.
(DONT READ THIS PART IF U DONT WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS)
1 tip when they do it on a broom MAKE IT REALLY DETAILED i would love it even more.

PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!! ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS AT SKEWL LOVE YOU

I think everyone knows that in this story Draco and Hermione belong together. You never did mention what went on at the Slytherin party, did Draco do anything that might have hurt Hermione if she would have walked in to surprise him ? please update soon, i can\'t wait til these two get back together.

hmm, you\'re on ff.net too...cool.

Good job, I love the plot.

I would just like to say that I resent all this business about blonds. Some of us are NATURAL blonds. We are not ditzy, we are just from Scandinavia. And yes, we do have a lot of fun. BTW, I like your story a lot.

Can\'t wait to read more!! I love this story!

~*~OMG this is really good omg i swear to god this is something i would read! It just got my attention.....ur really good XXXPPP keep up the good work and I love Draco and Hermy\'s relationship!!! Plz do tell us how it enDz cuz im dieinG to finD out!!!