schedule
September 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
i know its been five years since you wrote this but can you PLEASE continue it. i've got to know whats going on with harry
schedule
July 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You did beautifully... please write the rest.
Nelleh/
Nelleh/
schedule
December 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Garr!!!! You gota update!!!!!! Really!!! I wana see what happeds next!!!! Pls update soon! I'm loving this so far! It's great!!! Couldn't help but smile evily at the last few bits^_~ Plz update soon!!!!
Smile^_^
Smile^_^
schedule
March 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well...
I do like this story, honest and true. The plot is good and while the change in Mr. Malfoy is a little extreme, it is still presented in a convincing manner. I love Elizabeth and the whole idea of Draco as a lawyer is ever so appealing.
The one issue I am having troubles with is the fact that the story is written in first person. Don\'t get me wrong, it is a nice change from the drab third person perspective that traditionally governs the lot of fan fiction, it just seems a little...what\'s the word... I do not want to say juvenile, however, any other appropriate adjectives escape me for the moment.
Not saying that I feel your story is childish; simply that you could probably stand to fine tune your writing style a touch. Please, do not completely overhaul the style and head into a new way of writing, not by any means. If anything, I would just suggest reviewing your word choice, and perhaps curbing your objective habits. Write more on Draco\'s reactions and his personal connections to his surroundings, more so just the base descriptions. Tie the elements of your story together with a nice flow, a rhythm to your words. Make reading your stories something of personal experience for your readers.
That is one of the main features of first person scriptures. The ability, for the reader, to subjugate themselves in place of the characters. More often that not while reading in third-person perspective, the reader can become easily bored as they \"watch\" the story unfold. In this style, and points the reader can \"fall into\" the story and find the written character\'s reaction mimic their own, should the story line lead up to an event in a persuasive manner. One can usually lead their audience to the mind set of the characters on page without them ever being aware of it. Oh the perks of being author!
None the less, as I have said before, your story is good. Do not be disheartened by anything another person says. To them, it is the simple matter of reading and therein choosing to enjoy or not to enjoy. For one who is writing, it is the process of delving into parts of the soul, heart and mind to find that which is sorely under used in current society. Oh, no doubt that the eternal imagination of the human race will always inspire us to new lengths, it just seems as though too many have fallen to depending on the minds of others for amusement. Never fall into such a pit. Always strive to create, to learn and to share the joy of independent thought, or more importantly, independent creativity.
Keep Typin\'
Rez
I do like this story, honest and true. The plot is good and while the change in Mr. Malfoy is a little extreme, it is still presented in a convincing manner. I love Elizabeth and the whole idea of Draco as a lawyer is ever so appealing.
The one issue I am having troubles with is the fact that the story is written in first person. Don\'t get me wrong, it is a nice change from the drab third person perspective that traditionally governs the lot of fan fiction, it just seems a little...what\'s the word... I do not want to say juvenile, however, any other appropriate adjectives escape me for the moment.
Not saying that I feel your story is childish; simply that you could probably stand to fine tune your writing style a touch. Please, do not completely overhaul the style and head into a new way of writing, not by any means. If anything, I would just suggest reviewing your word choice, and perhaps curbing your objective habits. Write more on Draco\'s reactions and his personal connections to his surroundings, more so just the base descriptions. Tie the elements of your story together with a nice flow, a rhythm to your words. Make reading your stories something of personal experience for your readers.
That is one of the main features of first person scriptures. The ability, for the reader, to subjugate themselves in place of the characters. More often that not while reading in third-person perspective, the reader can become easily bored as they \"watch\" the story unfold. In this style, and points the reader can \"fall into\" the story and find the written character\'s reaction mimic their own, should the story line lead up to an event in a persuasive manner. One can usually lead their audience to the mind set of the characters on page without them ever being aware of it. Oh the perks of being author!
None the less, as I have said before, your story is good. Do not be disheartened by anything another person says. To them, it is the simple matter of reading and therein choosing to enjoy or not to enjoy. For one who is writing, it is the process of delving into parts of the soul, heart and mind to find that which is sorely under used in current society. Oh, no doubt that the eternal imagination of the human race will always inspire us to new lengths, it just seems as though too many have fallen to depending on the minds of others for amusement. Never fall into such a pit. Always strive to create, to learn and to share the joy of independent thought, or more importantly, independent creativity.
Keep Typin\'
Rez
schedule
January 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hello!
I
I
schedule
December 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Really really nice. But wouldn\'t Draco be a solicitor rather than a lawyer? I\'m not sure if the English have both titles. I look forward to more.
schedule
December 8, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Sorry, I accidentally hit the send button before I could type more. There were two stylistic comments I wanted to make. First, you keep switching tenses which is disconcerting to say the least as I am correcting the story in my head as I read along. That\'s a lot of work to ask from the reader. As a writer, you need to make a choice and stick with it. It\'s much more common to use the past tense because it is easier to write and makes more sense to the reader.
Secondly, so we expect that if you don\'t like Dumbledore\'s name, you will rename him too? Since you have not made this an obviously AU where different names might be allowable, I don\'t see why you should not respect Rowling\'s work enough to let her names stand even if you don\'t like them. You get to name your own characters things you do like. Let\'s not follow the example of the \'Dracula\' movie which switched the names of Mina and Lucy for no reason I could see or the actor who allegedly did not want to play a character named Natty Bumpo and so thay gave Hawkeye a new name in the fairly recent \'Last of the Mohicans\' movie.
If you really have something dire against the name, then make this animal Hedwig\'s mate, or sister, or daughter, etc. Don\'t chsnge what isn\'t your to change needlessly.
That being said, what I said before stands. I like the story and am looking forward to more.
Secondly, so we expect that if you don\'t like Dumbledore\'s name, you will rename him too? Since you have not made this an obviously AU where different names might be allowable, I don\'t see why you should not respect Rowling\'s work enough to let her names stand even if you don\'t like them. You get to name your own characters things you do like. Let\'s not follow the example of the \'Dracula\' movie which switched the names of Mina and Lucy for no reason I could see or the actor who allegedly did not want to play a character named Natty Bumpo and so thay gave Hawkeye a new name in the fairly recent \'Last of the Mohicans\' movie.
If you really have something dire against the name, then make this animal Hedwig\'s mate, or sister, or daughter, etc. Don\'t chsnge what isn\'t your to change needlessly.
That being said, what I said before stands. I like the story and am looking forward to more.
schedule
December 7, 2004 at 12:00 AM
love the first chapter. post again soon. keep up the good work.
schedule
December 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
It\'s amazing story! I REALLY hope you\'ll continue!^_^
schedule
December 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
oooh cunning
please write more i really want to no where ur taking this
please write more i really want to no where ur taking this