AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Learning New

by RainingatNight

person maggie36
schedule December 4, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I really like your story. I spotted a couple of mistakes but nothing that couldn\'t be caught by a beta or a spell/grammer checker. I love the trio (Hermione, Marcus, and Draco) pairing. Hermione is really lucky. Please keep up the good work and update soon.
person Nette
schedule November 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
NICE!!!!!!!! My only suggestion as a fellow fan fiction writer is to make the chapters longer. Don\'t leave cliffhangers so close to eachother. Example, Ch. 3+4 could\'ve been one chapter with a little more added. Explore hermione\'s feelings a little more. Or perhaps letting the sexual tension rise, like Hermione doesn\'t clear her throat, they ease up to wait on her and find her watching, blushing. They\'re kissing on a couch and Marcus invites her to sit down.
person jeannette
schedule November 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
it\'s a great story, chapters could be a bit longer.