rate_review Reviews

I like it so far. It's an interesting approach to the marriage law fic idea.

I think you should keep Snape fairly in character in the upcoming chapters. What we see in the book is the exterior, though, so his character can be expanded upon within reason when you're writing about what goes on behind closed doors. To keep it close to canon, for example, you could have there be minimal personal contact other than the basic responsibilities for at least her fifth year. And since he promised her parents to allow her life to remain as normal as possible, her interaction with them would fit with that. I think that he could easily be a combion oon of bastard and loving, imo. From what I understand, he is now her legal guardian but not yet married to her? So when would you have him insist on the actual marriage/sex?

I'm curious if there is a back story. You mentioned briefly that she was sent back in time by accident and that added to her age, as well as her time turner use in 3rd year. Are you going to expand on this a little?

Since all fanfic is AU, some more so than others, there is always the freedoth ath artistic license. But I have to admit, it always bugs me when Hermione is made to be a reddhead in fanfic. She is a brunette. Brown is brown and red is red and there is a difference. So I am curious if there is an AU backstory that does not follow canon.

All in all, though, great concept for story imo.

o wow.... *is speechless*
update... please...

I am hoping for a loving Snape...I think I have been traumatized by RachelW's story and I think a loving one would be nice. I like your first 2 chapters and am interested to see what happens now that she belongs to the family Snape.

Well, since Dumbledore approved I don't think this Snape should be a bastard--and since he went through all the pureblood ceremony's to ensure she would have just as much respect as any other pureblood, then the other snobs need to treat her well or
Snape coue a e a bastard to THEM! School might be weird. Interesting. I wonder what that "unsaid" thing Hermione is worried about.

I hope Snape doesn't treat her like property. I was reading another marriage law fic where that was happening, and I really can't take those.

He promised to take responsibility for her emotional well being. He'd better live up to that.

Innogen

But of course, 'tis your story....

not a bad start, ill beta for ya if u want, just email me. make sure u put something about beta'ing in the subject or ill delete the email

It's really pretty good. You have hung onto your audience by not giving too much away, kept us wondering! Watch your capital letters and expand a little bit on the plot. It's gonna be great! It reminds me of the Middle Eastern countries that have doctors under ground who "fix" virginity before a girl gets married. Update soon, so I know what is going on!!!

Yes, I am writing...I realise that it's been a while!

Wow, this sounds really interresting! Update soon. Very unique, I like that Snape has been visiting the Grangers over the years, and WHAT on EARTH is the letter from McGonagall?? You have to update quickly after a cliffie like that!

Ch 1 - great start! I like the way Severus plans ahead. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.