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September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 38 -- This chapter had two distinct salient points
First off, the majority of the chapter dealt with the formerly unknown marked Death Eater in the school. I like the fact that you did not fall into the rut of using another Slytherin character. The dynamics of the dorm would have become a bit too predictable. I found the reasoning for how Susan ended up being the girl in question to be quite an unexpect turn. She was probably the one student I had completely disregarded, just because of the position her aunt holds. So, to have her be forced to take the mark, not only against her will, but physically abducted as well, made her a truly surprise choice.
I also like that Susan chose to be bonded with Neville. It was subtle, but the fact that Harry refused to do it himself pretty much implies that he is currently at his own limits. I do not see him being able to take on any new Thralls any time in the near future. With Susan becoming Neville\'s Thrall, there will be a balance within the dorm once again. Both sets of Harry\'s retainers are on an equal standing in status, with each having a Thrall of their own. The fact that Susan has loved Neville for years appears to be quite different from Millie\'s lustful obsession over Ron. And with Neville\'s strong moral fiber, her slave status will be very different from Millicent\'s, I would imagine. I liked how everybody (not just Neville) made sure to check with Ginny to verify whether or not Susan would be allowed to become Neville\'s Thrall. That, along with Ginny\'s very aggressive style (as shown by her extreme involvement in preparing Susan), will allow this set of characters to be a completely new territory for the story to explore. I would not expect to see Susan becoming another pain-fetishist; that would cheapen the story too much by making her a clone of the rest of the cast. And with Ginny being shown as being corrupted by her possession in her first year, her baser needs can be better met by Neville and Susan than by Neville alone, if only because of Neville\'s gentle nature. I am curious to see how you handle this new group\'s potential.
The other major point of the chapter was the book-end scenes of Hermione and Harry. I found Hermione\'s approaching Harry about advancing their relationship to be very in-character. Harry\'s fear of her rejection showed the scarred (and scared) boy who was raised in the cupboard. And his desire to wait to allow Hermione to change her mind reinforces this lack of self-worth. He would (and should) have trouble accepting love from an equal. His very strong moral backbone would also demand that he consult with Hermione\'s parents before taking that next step. He had pledged that he would not do anything to Hermione in the earlier chapters, so even though Hermione\'s father later gave his tacit approval for Harry to begin a physical relationship with Hermione, Harry would feel the need to ask for and receive her parents\' blessing.
When reviewing the story I was struck by an odd thought: I\'m surprised that Harry has been delaying making Hermione the Mistress in fact rather than in spirit only. As was explained by Cissa, the First Wife spell would make Hermione similar to Harry in that Hermione would be able to draw on the Thralls and that the Thralls would be able to better respond to their Mistress\' needs, similar to how they can sense their Master\'s needs. The reason Harry would be better off with Hermione in an official capacity is Bella and Cho. Both of these Thralls want and need to be physically punished. It is their fondest wish. Yet, Harry has trouble doling out this punishment; he does not want to inflict pain onto people he cares for. Yet, as shown by the one scene where Cho was marked by a beating, and Harry asked Hermione why, Hermione\'s response was that it relaxed her. Ergo, Hermione would be able to take over the giving of the physical \"rewards\" to these two Thralls for Harry. And as she would be their \"actual\" Mistress, they should be receiving the same amount of satisfaction as if Harry was giving the pain. And Hermione would be relieving excess stress, as she finds the action to be restful.
As for the future chapters, well the next chapter is hopefully focused on Harry and his talk with the Grangers. And if all goes well, He and Hermione should be able to begin to advance the physical side of their relationship. I am still extremely curious as to what the spells were that Harry imbued on the ring he gave her. And why did he feel so compelled to create a special Portkey for Hermione? Was it merely a safeguard, or does he have some sort of premonition?
We can also probably expect to see Ginny begin to direct the exploration of Neville and their new Thrall\'s limits. I really expect to see Neville to allow Ginny to be the driving force in their grouping, if only to help her purge her inner demons.
And is Voldemort expecting a public demonstration soon? If so, how will Harry continue to bluff that he is becoming \"dark\"? He would need to make each successive act more outlandish than the last. But, I would imagine we should have a small interlude before the next demonstration
Chris
First off, the majority of the chapter dealt with the formerly unknown marked Death Eater in the school. I like the fact that you did not fall into the rut of using another Slytherin character. The dynamics of the dorm would have become a bit too predictable. I found the reasoning for how Susan ended up being the girl in question to be quite an unexpect turn. She was probably the one student I had completely disregarded, just because of the position her aunt holds. So, to have her be forced to take the mark, not only against her will, but physically abducted as well, made her a truly surprise choice.
I also like that Susan chose to be bonded with Neville. It was subtle, but the fact that Harry refused to do it himself pretty much implies that he is currently at his own limits. I do not see him being able to take on any new Thralls any time in the near future. With Susan becoming Neville\'s Thrall, there will be a balance within the dorm once again. Both sets of Harry\'s retainers are on an equal standing in status, with each having a Thrall of their own. The fact that Susan has loved Neville for years appears to be quite different from Millie\'s lustful obsession over Ron. And with Neville\'s strong moral fiber, her slave status will be very different from Millicent\'s, I would imagine. I liked how everybody (not just Neville) made sure to check with Ginny to verify whether or not Susan would be allowed to become Neville\'s Thrall. That, along with Ginny\'s very aggressive style (as shown by her extreme involvement in preparing Susan), will allow this set of characters to be a completely new territory for the story to explore. I would not expect to see Susan becoming another pain-fetishist; that would cheapen the story too much by making her a clone of the rest of the cast. And with Ginny being shown as being corrupted by her possession in her first year, her baser needs can be better met by Neville and Susan than by Neville alone, if only because of Neville\'s gentle nature. I am curious to see how you handle this new group\'s potential.
The other major point of the chapter was the book-end scenes of Hermione and Harry. I found Hermione\'s approaching Harry about advancing their relationship to be very in-character. Harry\'s fear of her rejection showed the scarred (and scared) boy who was raised in the cupboard. And his desire to wait to allow Hermione to change her mind reinforces this lack of self-worth. He would (and should) have trouble accepting love from an equal. His very strong moral backbone would also demand that he consult with Hermione\'s parents before taking that next step. He had pledged that he would not do anything to Hermione in the earlier chapters, so even though Hermione\'s father later gave his tacit approval for Harry to begin a physical relationship with Hermione, Harry would feel the need to ask for and receive her parents\' blessing.
When reviewing the story I was struck by an odd thought: I\'m surprised that Harry has been delaying making Hermione the Mistress in fact rather than in spirit only. As was explained by Cissa, the First Wife spell would make Hermione similar to Harry in that Hermione would be able to draw on the Thralls and that the Thralls would be able to better respond to their Mistress\' needs, similar to how they can sense their Master\'s needs. The reason Harry would be better off with Hermione in an official capacity is Bella and Cho. Both of these Thralls want and need to be physically punished. It is their fondest wish. Yet, Harry has trouble doling out this punishment; he does not want to inflict pain onto people he cares for. Yet, as shown by the one scene where Cho was marked by a beating, and Harry asked Hermione why, Hermione\'s response was that it relaxed her. Ergo, Hermione would be able to take over the giving of the physical \"rewards\" to these two Thralls for Harry. And as she would be their \"actual\" Mistress, they should be receiving the same amount of satisfaction as if Harry was giving the pain. And Hermione would be relieving excess stress, as she finds the action to be restful.
As for the future chapters, well the next chapter is hopefully focused on Harry and his talk with the Grangers. And if all goes well, He and Hermione should be able to begin to advance the physical side of their relationship. I am still extremely curious as to what the spells were that Harry imbued on the ring he gave her. And why did he feel so compelled to create a special Portkey for Hermione? Was it merely a safeguard, or does he have some sort of premonition?
We can also probably expect to see Ginny begin to direct the exploration of Neville and their new Thrall\'s limits. I really expect to see Neville to allow Ginny to be the driving force in their grouping, if only to help her purge her inner demons.
And is Voldemort expecting a public demonstration soon? If so, how will Harry continue to bluff that he is becoming \"dark\"? He would need to make each successive act more outlandish than the last. But, I would imagine we should have a small interlude before the next demonstration
Chris
schedule
September 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Thank you for the update.
I wasn\'t expecting Susan, but it does fit.
Very, very interesting, and hot.
More soon, please.
I wasn\'t expecting Susan, but it does fit.
Very, very interesting, and hot.
More soon, please.
schedule
September 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The story remains interesting even after so many chapters... I was wondering when youd you would use that speel on Bella and Cissa... :)
schedule
September 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 37 -- A fairly light chapter this time around, but I had a number of problems with it.
The Halloween costume ball allowed for some interesting moments. I found the concept of Cissa using the opportunity of the costumes to reinforce the difference of Harry and his friends (and Thralls) from the rest of the school to be quite interesting. We have Ron as a Knight with his two women dressed as Knight
The Halloween costume ball allowed for some interesting moments. I found the concept of Cissa using the opportunity of the costumes to reinforce the difference of Harry and his friends (and Thralls) from the rest of the school to be quite interesting. We have Ron as a Knight with his two women dressed as Knight
schedule
September 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The one with the Mark is Greengrass, right?
schedule
September 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Can\'t wait for more, please try to update as soon as you are able to
schedule
September 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh please keep going this story is so bloody good right now i love it!
schedule
September 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 36 - Another nice transitional chapter with some foreshadowing to whet our appetites.
I found Ron and his party
I found Ron and his party
schedule
September 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Thank you for the update.
Very good, very hot.
More soon, please.
Very good, very hot.
More soon, please.
schedule
September 8, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Can\'t wait to read more, please try to update this story as soon as you are able to