schedule
December 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
the grammar got worse in the third chappie. you might want to capitalize some letters and look at your tenses and spelling.
ASOTA
ASOTA
schedule
September 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I have just begun to read this story and for the most part, I like what I'm seeing. There's just this one thing. It could do with a bit of... grammatical tweaking. Which is not to say that there are too many spelling or punctuation problems, but you seem to suffer from a bit of excessive wordiness. A large vocabulary can be a great thing but there really is no need to bombard your readers with a lot of big or unusual words.
If you 'do' use them, you should be especially careful to only use the appropriate word for the situation. For example; "...the image was deriving in his vision,". The word deriving, is the wrong thing to use. And-"During the secession of the nest two weeks..." It's simply unnecessary. 'During the next two weeks' or 'Throughout the next two weeks' would be fine.
Unusual words can be fun to use but it really is best to try to keep things simple. You need to think 'easy-reading'. Using the wrong word can make the whole sentence structure kind of awkward and the average reader doesn't want to have to stumble over all these extra words. Seriously, you don't need to be fancy to be impressive. Your creativity more than speaks for itself.
That said, your plot seems to be coming along well. You're doing a great job. Keep it up!
If you 'do' use them, you should be especially careful to only use the appropriate word for the situation. For example; "...the image was deriving in his vision,". The word deriving, is the wrong thing to use. And-"During the secession of the nest two weeks..." It's simply unnecessary. 'During the next two weeks' or 'Throughout the next two weeks' would be fine.
Unusual words can be fun to use but it really is best to try to keep things simple. You need to think 'easy-reading'. Using the wrong word can make the whole sentence structure kind of awkward and the average reader doesn't want to have to stumble over all these extra words. Seriously, you don't need to be fancy to be impressive. Your creativity more than speaks for itself.
That said, your plot seems to be coming along well. You're doing a great job. Keep it up!
schedule
September 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
pretty good story, it looks like it's going to be great however, you are in great need of a beta. You need someone to look over your work to correct your grammer. Your spelling is fine though. I'd be more than willing to help you out if you'd like. Just e-mail me if you'd like me to beta for you
schedule
December 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
keep going!!! Its great!!!
schedule
October 30, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH!
schedule
October 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oye, please write more!!
schedule
October 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Very Enjoyable
schedule
October 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like the way this stroy is turning out. Will you explain why Harry was stronger than other victims soon?