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September 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
what a cute idea for a story. Sad ending though. That's okay, they can keep trying.
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December 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
liked the story but the end sucked
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November 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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July 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters? Or can you write a sequel to this story please?
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October 20, 2004 at 12:00 AM
The details and description of the party (and directly after) are excellent. But it seems to me that after that the plot just took off and time flew by in a matter of sentences. The ending seemed rather rushed and not in keeping with the rest of the fic. I'm not sure what to say...perhaps cut the fic into multiple chapters and try to flesh it out more, if that's the ending you're looking to use. If you want to keep it one chapter, I'd suggest cropping out the entire final sequence.