schedule
December 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I presume that English is not your first language ... that's fine ... but you simply MUST get yourself a beta-reader whose first language IS English. Mistakes like writing "menstruation" (a women's monthly menstrual cycle) for "ministration" (to take care of) may be amusing, but they break the flow of the story. English is tricky ... there are many homonyms/homophones (words that sound the same but mean different things). This is in NO way a criticism of the story OR your ability to write ... just get yourself a strict beta who will REALLY correct the grammar and spelling mistakes.
Cheers,
Rusty
San Diego CA USA
Cheers,
Rusty
San Diego CA USA
schedule
October 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is a fantastic story. I likethe (obvious) mutual interest between harry and Snape, and look forward to Sev's eventuall trust buildign excercises. More More More!
schedule
June 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OOOOH SO FAR I LIKE >_< Hot stuff <3
schedule
April 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Bree, you owe me a keyboard (chuckle). You win the \"Malapropism of the Decade\" award for writing \"menstruations\" instead of \"ministrations\".
It\'s a good story, but did a beta ever see it? There are so many mis-spellings, wrong homonyms, grammar errors, and such that I gave up after the second chapter ... I simply couldn\'t follow the story.
Rusty
It\'s a good story, but did a beta ever see it? There are so many mis-spellings, wrong homonyms, grammar errors, and such that I gave up after the second chapter ... I simply couldn\'t follow the story.
Rusty
schedule
January 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good job but a bunch of your typos are really hard to understand. Update soon.
schedule
December 20, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Love it! Please update!
schedule
December 1, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Great story! I like the plot and the guilt Snape feels is a nice touch to the story, it makes it more believeable. Why did Snape have to give Harry the potion with his mouth instead of just pouring it inside? I have to say I like the situation in your story better, though. The descriptions are wonderful, really draws you in. Keep it up, and write faster please!
schedule
November 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Me likee, please write more.
schedule
October 22, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Nice enough a concept allright, BUT DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When it isn't your mother tongue, and you do not master the language sufficiently, then at least get a beta!!!!
It really ruins the pleasure of reading when you have to rephrase about every other sentence to get the intended meaning...
Keep trying though.
When it isn't your mother tongue, and you do not master the language sufficiently, then at least get a beta!!!!
It really ruins the pleasure of reading when you have to rephrase about every other sentence to get the intended meaning...
Keep trying though.
schedule
October 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Market for a beta? Eh? Why don't you email me or im me and ask.
forgiven_entity@hotmail.com
AIM SN: Forgiven Entity
MSN SN: Same as email
forgiven_entity@hotmail.com
AIM SN: Forgiven Entity
MSN SN: Same as email