rate_review Reviews

Damn. Well now you've got me all confused. ;) lol... Although I'm still rooting for Charlie. :) I'm trying to "read between the lines" but you've got a lot of subtext, girl! ;) rofl.... Anyway, grammar/spelling has improved, so good job. Keep working on it :)

Wonderful! It's so cute to see Hermione with Ron.(A great het pairing.) Keep it up!

Jack

I wasn't sure if your beta had actually done anything on the chapters you have up because they are rife with punctuation and spelling errors. You have apostrophes where they don't belong, there's "your" when it should be "you, "w, "where" when you need "were" and even in your summary it says "cry's" instead of "cries." Is English your first language? If your beta has been through this work and edited it, then your beta needs a beta. You have a good start, but the errors are distracting. Run this through Word -- it will catch and underline the problems and give you suggestions.

Heya ;) Betcha thought I forgot about youdn'tdn't ya? ;) hehehe. Lol, after that cookie-and-water bit, I knew that you'd pick Charlie for Herm. Anyway, this chapter. Poor Ron; he's so messed up. Even though he's got a girlfriend, it probably wouldn't be a good fic w/o Ron being pissed that Hermione was with someone (ESPECIALLY one of HIS brothers! :-D hahaha). Ron's gonna need to sort through some things... Something tells me that this scene in the snow is gonna be what fuels Ron to go ahead and do something to Malfoy when they get back to school. ;) I wonder if I'm right... Er, again, trying to be constructive here, but was Pinky-betabeta not able to look over this chapter? Not to be mean, but you haven't had so many mistakes since chapter 2 or so... Anyway, a note to Pinky-the-beta: If you're gonna be a beta, you need to beta; personal experience talking here; authors *hate* it when you don't read over their chapters carefully. Note to both of you: "were" versus "where"... WHOLE different kinds of meanings/usages/etc with these two words... please be careful that you aren't using "where" when you mean to use "were"... :) Thanks. Ok, but again, I liked it. You had good content, good flow, and a decent-length chapter. :) Keep up the good work, kiddo!

Spelling errors aside, this is a brilliant story. I was intruiged from the chapter one and I love the ever changing relationship Ron and Hermione have. Although I do wish this had more of a Ron/Hermione/Charlie love triangle going. It would serve Ron right! Anyway, wonderful job on this. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Nice Story! Enjoyed it, though there's still some problem with your subject verb agreement. Other then that, it's good. Looking forward to your next update! ^_^

Hi, sweetie, I'm enjoying your story, keep it going! Good improvements on spelling after chapter 3! It's a good main idea, I'm interested to see where you'll take it.
lyn

Hey. :) A great chapter. You've got more length, a little more in-depth content, your spelling is much better, and it's easier to read because of the spacing between the paragraphs. :) Wonderful job! Only one constructive criticism today :) Plurals vs. Possessive: one hand or two hands, one arm or two arms. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a good reason to use "arm's", which is possessive, implying that the next word following belongs to it. Example: Ron's girlfriend is Jen. Ok, you could say "the arm's length" which would talk about the length of the arm... but I think you get my point. :) Just trying to help out. I wonder what the next chapter will bring! :) (btw, I love how Ron avoided making that promise to Hermione at the very end. ;) Way to go! :) hehehe)

great story i cant wait til the next chapter keep writting!!! :)

Hey. I like this story, it seems like you've got something going here. An interesting beginning to say the least. However: PLEASE get a beta!!!!!!!!! You have several spelling errors, even with wordke "ke "Weasley" and "Hermione". I'm guessing you write a chapter and then immediately post it. Please read your chapter once or twice (after writing) before you post, ok? Also, please put spaces between your paragraphs. I know I sound mean, but I'm just trying to offer some constructive criticism. Good luck with the next chapter. :)