rate_review Reviews

I think you did well with Snape, but it seems to me that the Dark Lord here in this story is, uh, almost nice. Where are the curses? Where is the pain that he puts his own people through? Where is the terror from his followers? Annoyance is all well in good, but not in a bunch of followers that are supposed to be terrified of dying any minute.

I would be happy with the sixth chapter too--If it were longer! LOL! Keep up the good work and update soon.

I don't think that Dumbledore comes off too mean. If you're asserting that he was in support of the law, then circumstances within the Wizarding world must have been dire. People will do things that seem OOC when the situation is bad enough. Being the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot (or whatever that darned title is) he has a responsibility to do what's best for society, which means he may have to gloss over his private feelings for the greater good. Sucks to be a ic sic servant sometimes. So, long explanation short (too late!) your characterization of Dumbledore is completely defensible IMO. Thanks for writing and I look forward to reading more of this.

Chapter 5
Read up to here , My my seems Hermie has a mouth on herr as well as a tounge Ne?
Should prove rather interesting when it's turned to Sevrus's favour Ne?
(Yes I AM a horny dirty YOUNG man Mwahahahaha)

Sorry to nit-pick but I think that Limone Ballate in the singular or Limoni Ballate for the plural would be more accurate because Ballare does mean to dance but it is not proper for the grammer formation that you want and Limonate is a word that doesn't exist. I'm only a second level grammer speciallist so I might be wrong. Other than that your story has a good beginning and I like the direction you're taking with the character development. I can't wait until you establish them a bit more as the story progresses.

Ta,
Map

Ok I am a sucker for the the marriage challange and you have given it a fresh approach and I thankyou for it. I love she didn't chose and there was no actual wedding and am really looking forward to how you handle the getting pregnant bit can't wait for more.