rate_review Reviews

yourstor is awesome.i\'m so enthralled and i can\'t wit to see what happens next! Bravo!!!!

Yay! thankyou! I love this fic, its the best on on the web! I always lok out for updates.

Best wishes and good work.

To be honest, I really didn\'t expect a whole lot when I opened this one up, but it went from a hurt/comfort story to a full-blown ensemble tale that I would like to see more of. I like the characterizations of the characters in general, although Harry is a little too assertive and Draco is a little too unlike the self he used to be (the explanation as to why is sound, but it somehow doesn\'t quite work in my head). I especially liked it when they sic\'d Molly on Dumbledore. Overall, good stuff, and I\'d like to know how it ends.

Great post, hope you post again soon. Thanks.

Amazing story line...PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!

If you need a beta...please email me...if not for betaing, email me when you update your story!

i love your story so far. please please update again soon!!

Sad but wonderful start to your story-only read ch1. so far and can\'t wait to read the rest. Like other\'s have noted, you need a beta to help you with grammar and spelling,but I noticed no one has actually given you any details. The most glaring mistakes I\'ve seen involved your puntuation when setting off direct quotes from other text, such as when to use a comma to set it off vs. just using a period and then starting a new sentence. Quickly, use the comma when the following or preceding text describes how the quoted material is being said or if you are connecting two parts of a quote that are being separated by descriptive text. \"Our mother hurt us,\" she coughed out. ( describing how she said it) \"Relax, you are safe.\" He couldn\'t believe his voice soothed her. ( used period as the next part is not describing the quoted material. Also,be careful with using proper punctuation for possessives. I noticed you leave out the apostrophes ie the girls cloaks should be girls\'.By the way,I am making up sentences for examples not pulling actual quotes from the story. Snape comes out of his room with a blanket but when he puts it around the girls, you made it plural. He put them on the girls-something like that. Also,be careful with the forms of to and too. Hope some of this helps. I don\'t know what writing resources are available on this site, but sycophanthex.com and other fanfiction sites provide great reviews of grammar and writing tips. Also, bits of the story just seem off or have I not read enough? If they were down in the basement for a week or more, wouldn\'t their mother have removed the dead body and have found the wand? Why were their trunks already packed if H had only been out of school for three weeks-wouldn\'t there still be about two months before school restarted? I hope you don\'t find all of this too nitpicky,but I know that there are many stories that get overlooked after one or two chapters due to bad grammar and unfortunately a great story is missed and I have a feeling that this is one story that should be read by all.

Of course, after all that,there I go and make a mistake in the very first sentence. Should be others.Oops!

Great chapter! I was very happy to see your update. ^_^