errorYou must be logged in to review this story.
schedule
April 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I love this story so far adn cant wait to see what happens next!
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Would you please put bottom!name in the summary or warnings, because I don't read fics in this pairing that don't explicitly state dom!Harry (since they tend towards the other nearly exclusively), so I was just wondering if I'm missing out on something I would enjoy.
schedule
November 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
hey please update this soon, ive just read the full thing all the way through and i still wanted more. please update soon.
schedule
November 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really love this fic, thanks!
schedule
November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
More please?
schedule
November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I am enjoying this so far! I would, however, like to point out that Snipe *do* exist...and people *do* actually hunt them...although I am aware that it is used as a joke in areas that they are not common... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snipe
Just a bit of useless knowledge LOL!...Looking forward to reading more from you...
Just a bit of useless knowledge LOL!...Looking forward to reading more from you...
schedule
November 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Have someone go over your work to find spelling mistakes. You have a lot of similar words mixed up..like sight and site. Sight means to see..and site is a place. Words like go and get are also mixed up.
schedule
November 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
"Later that evening he heard a car pull up into the drive way. He put
his books away so his Uncle could not get rid of them because that is what he would do if he found them."
All of that is not necessary to make the reader understand.
It should be implied that vernon would destroy the books. When you spell things out so completly for your reader...so simplistic it is often boring. It is unnecessarily redundant.
Keep writing and improving.
his books away so his Uncle could not get rid of them because that is what he would do if he found them."
All of that is not necessary to make the reader understand.
It should be implied that vernon would destroy the books. When you spell things out so completly for your reader...so simplistic it is often boring. It is unnecessarily redundant.
Keep writing and improving.
schedule
October 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
UPDATE!! UPDATE!!! HURRRRYYYY!!! I need to read more of this! *smiles*
I love HP stories when Harry isn't wimpy or stupid. Yay for Super Harry!!!
I love HP stories when Harry isn't wimpy or stupid. Yay for Super Harry!!!
schedule
October 9, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You asked for constructive critisism so as i read i'll review as i come to things that i either really like or need to be altered.
this "He now knew all of the Dark Art spells and how to counter them, he did not enjoy doing them one bit but he would need them for the fight."
Should be changed..there is no way for him to know ALL of the dark art spells there are...and maybe you should explain why he doesn't like them...i mean does it make his body feel diffrent using a dark spell as opposed to a light spell..or does he simply not like it because them ministry deems it dark...is dark magic addictive?
Also the book titles..you could have used random book authors...i mean after all if dumbledoore had written a book surely he would have given harry a copy during fifth year to help him learn.
this "He now knew all of the Dark Art spells and how to counter them, he did not enjoy doing them one bit but he would need them for the fight."
Should be changed..there is no way for him to know ALL of the dark art spells there are...and maybe you should explain why he doesn't like them...i mean does it make his body feel diffrent using a dark spell as opposed to a light spell..or does he simply not like it because them ministry deems it dark...is dark magic addictive?
Also the book titles..you could have used random book authors...i mean after all if dumbledoore had written a book surely he would have given harry a copy during fifth year to help him learn.