AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Joined at the Hip

by jeslynnighthawk

person ancientgirl
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well I have to say I was a bit worried because I too had a very strange and not so sexy vision of both of them fused together. I like how you have set it up so far and I\'m looking forward to reading more.
person Lucie
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
A nice beginning. I did not read about that challenge before, but this looks promising.

Your story is written in a nice flow, the mixture of description and speech is making for an entertaining read. The only thing I would recommend is to have a beta- or proofreader check for typos.
person Sabrina
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like the first chapter. Keep up the good work.
person Lydia
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This story sound interesting and I\'m lookinf forward to seeing where it goes.
person alicat
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well your off to a good start, and after reading all the challenge requirements and options I can\'t wait to read more I really hope you update soon I look forward to reading more. XOXO
person The Eighth Weasley
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
ooh, this looks like fun. I can\'t wait to see you have Hermione act all nagging towards Snape. Do continue.
person ArienAstera
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I really like this so far!! Thanks for responing to the challenge!! I can\'t wait to see how they deal with it. To be honest, I never even got that far when I was thinking about it. But so far, this is great. How fast do you think your updates will be?
ArienAstera
person Snapeaholic
schedule May 28, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Great start on what promises to be a good read! One thing that bugs me though (a kind of pet peeve) is this: IT IS VIAL NOT VILE. VIAL is what you store potions in. VILE means that disgusting or gross. Otherwise, fantastically written. Keep up the good work! I\'m definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes. Again, though, VIAL NOT VILE. :)