schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Excellent start! I like the creature\'s name, it\'s cute but scarey. And you\'ve kept Snape in character - which is wonderful.
One tiny bit of editorial feedback: \"He rolled his eyes aggregately merely at the thought.\" I think you meant to write \"aggravatedly\"
One tiny bit of editorial feedback: \"He rolled his eyes aggregately merely at the thought.\" I think you meant to write \"aggravatedly\"
schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
A promising start. I\'ll be looking for a new chapter soon.
schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Is Hermione going to turn into a Boogoola(sp)? Interesting start, thanks.
schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I think this is a wonderfully strong opening with lots of upcoming potential great angst in the story. I\'m thinking Charlie might be Charles Weasley maybe? I like the way Severus felt cornered...classic! I wonder if the balooga creature will feel attracted to Hermione now that it has \"tasted\" her...a curiosity. I probably mispelled balooga - sorry. I hope you feel encourato wto write more!
schedule
May 27, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow! An interesting and very promising start! I can\'t wait to read more. I like the way you develop the story and I\'m sure I\'ll like the rest of it. Am intrigued by the \'Charlie why did you do it\' phrase... Charlie Weasley? Or another Charlie?..hmm...what did he do?... can\'t wait to see more!