rate_review Reviews

Well, I just read your story and hope you are going to continue. I liked the story although the four friends are a bit confusing. They are characters that are unknown to the reader, yet you have made their dialogue very dense without enough exposition around it to help us seperate them out and identify all but the most basic differences. The second thing I would say is that you need to work on your transitions, sometimes you have your characters refer to something (i.e Draco\'s behavior on the train) hinting at some scene that I think maybe I missed and have to go back and reread the paras before only to realize that the scene isn\'t there. This is very disconcerting as it takes you way out of the story. Anyway, I hope this helps. By the by, from the first chapter I thought the man was Lucius and now that you have introduced a little mystery about him into the story, it seems to support my theory.

I think it\'s Professor Severus Snape.

Good start, by the way.

No, wait, I take that back ... I think it\'s Harry Potter.

Great story Please keep writing

I\'m waiting very impatiently...need to see chapter 4 soon...PLEEEEZE?