rate_review Reviews

THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I KNOW TO CHECK REVIEWS... I WANT TO BE BETTER...

I agree with the others who have told you to work on spelling and grammar. Even if English is not your native language - which is no excuse to write so poorly - you need to put more time and effort into writing itself as well as into checking. I cannot honestly say that I like the story, because it\'s too rushed. You give virtually no explanation and the errors are bad enough to distract me completely. However, if you\'re willing to accept the mass opinion that you need to work, and you\'re willing to do so, you can certainly improve vastly. The story will benefit from it.

Try to put spaces between sentences. Spelling characters name the right way and just spelling correctly would help a lot.

like

Your first two chapters are being detracted from because of the incorrect grammar. Punctuation, spellings... It is all pulling people away from enjoying your story. If you are going to continue please either proof-read or get a beta- most of us hate to see a good story get lost under all the aggravating junk that can go wrong with a story.

Like the plot, keep at it, couple of suggestions though. 1) Use spaces after you end a sentence, I have vision problems and it\'s hard to read when I don\'t know where sentences start. 2) Please capitilize names. 3) Spell check, words like try do not turn into trieing, as drive does not turn into driveing.
BCM, Peace & Love!

am i good

It seems like it has some potential. however, you need to figure out how to make it so it\'s not all one big paragraph...not only does it make it easier to read, but i also...makes it easier to read. quotes should be used better, as well as comma\'s, periods, etc. it it is easier to read longer chapters. they don\'t have to be horribly long (trust me, mine aren\'t that long), but so we have something to quench our thirst and keep up interested. and yeah, i agree with blubb-blubb, you maybe wanna go into deeper detail and slower...but maybe that\'s what you want; to get this part over with and get to the main part, i\'m not sure.
if you want a beta (not that you necessarily need it, but sometimes they\'re helpful) just e-mail me (thoi\'mi\'m not the best beta, i\'ll admit...i\'ve only done it once or twice before, but i\'ll try to help ya) at LittleBandieGirl@yahoo.com

peace, and good luck

The chapters are a little bit short and so I cannot really say something about the content. You might go a little bit slower and explain the situation a little bit more, because it seems that you jump between moments. Also you should look after your spelling and grammar - it\'s horrible (and if I mention that it says something, because my native language is not english.