rate_review Reviews

The name is Zabini, not ZaMbini ( what a retarded mistake -- it ruins the whole fic... sad )

To be honest, I thought the first chapeter was a little weak. It didn\'t read well and felt rushed and out of character. I wasn\'t sure if I was going to like this fic, but it is really good. There are still some things I would change but I think the plot is exellent. I am eager to hear the next couple of chapters and I\'m glad you\'ll be updating again soon.

Hope everything is well with your family too. : )

really re goo good. i ussually don\'t like draco with hermione but i f ind this one interesting. the domination and possesivness pf a veela is somthing i think hermione needs. she needs that strength and i think she will appreciate being appreciated. the only thing i cna suggest is it is a little unclear about pierce. eventually i figured out he tried to hurt ginny but it is a bit vague and some might not be able to infer what happened. since this is an obvious (but good) future plot with him trying somthing on hermione and her needing saving, i think you should have a little more detail on the incident.

Wow... that was so good! I can\'t wait until you update. Is everything ok? I hope nothing too serious has happened.

I just read the first three chapters of this, and I think that you have a lot of good, raw material to work with here. I like how the relationship between Ginny and Blaise was started and the dynamic that you have created between Draco and Hermione. The two couples contrast nicely. There are a couple of things that I noticed, however. One, your grammar needs some a bit of work. Often, more than one person is speaking in one pargraph, words are misspelled or the wrong word is chosen, etc. These things are really easy to correct and refine, especially with the help of a beta reader. Two, you seem to have made veelas only be male which is not cannon with Rowling\'s work as she has female veelas. Is this piece an AU in that respect? Or are they also dominant in their relationships, etc? Working on these things will help the reader understand your story better and will improve his or her reading experience.

Again, I think you have a strong, good plot going so far, and I cannot wait to read the rest of the story. Good luck!

Jamie :)

yeah, yeah, yeah us reviewers (as I like 2 call myself now since this is the fic which has finally, after a full year, started me reviewing :D) know its a pain in the arse when u dont get constructive criticism and ppl quite simply say UPDATE! (:D), its a thing us reviewers like to do just 2 make us feel like we r encouraging such a good author as urself (Im ng tng the suck up thing.........wanna cookie :D) to UPDATE! quicker, since I dont want 2 b a pain in the arse (althouigh i feel if u dont UPDATE! soon, I may have 2 resort 2 it lolol), I do feel the need to point out that since I have already done the review thingy for this chappie annnnnnd.... although it is not fair 4 me 2 quite simply say UPDATE! (:D) I do actually need to inform u out that ur lack of UPDATE! (:D) is causing me some serious withdrawl symptwhicwhich........(wait for it)............ UP to DATE! (- the to....:D) have not manifested much with many other fics until now........soooooooooooooooooo............. since its about 2 in the morning here in the UK and Im finding it quite hard 2 find any wit to try n stick any more subliminal messages in ur head to UPDDDAAAATTTTEE!!!!(:D)....... im quite simply gonna say................ FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLLLEEEAASSSEEEEEEEEEEEE PLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAASSSEEEEE UPDATE!!!!!.............like erm.........NOOOOOWWW..........please.......pretty please :D xxxxx

hey K.V!! (easier than typing lol)
I totally love this fic! The idea is really really good, as well as the writing. I can\'t wait to see what happens to the couples next. So many questions..... aanyway keep it up! (Can u e-mail me when you0 update? That\'d be awesome) cheers xoxo

EEK! I must have missed it when you updated last. I was wondering why you had not updated and then noticed there was a third chapter. I am so glad I checked. This was a great chapter. I of course wanted more Ginny/Blaise but the Hermione/Draco story is fun too. I hope I dont have to wait too long for you to update again. This is the best story I am reading right now and look forward to more and more.

Oh, my gosh! Hurry please! Your fic is great. But you definitely need to get the next chapter up now!!!

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