schedule
March 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
So. I must admit that I am reviewing this mainly because I love proving people wrong. Quote: \"Gah, they won\'t review. I have no confidence whatsoever.\" Hah! See! Here you\'ve got one review, and it isn\'t even a review of a 12-year-old. I\'m not sure what to say though. I recognise something of my own attitude in yours. At first you like the writing, then at one point you like reviews, and eventually you\'re addicted to reviews and they become the sole reason for still writing, don\'t they? A good review can make your day, a bad one destroys it, no reviews demotivate you to continue at all. It SUCKS.
Either way, let me say something about your fic too ^^;; I think you have a wonderful feeling for language. Your sentences are well-formed, but not repetitive, and I especially like the short but powerful sentences you put at the end of every chapter. It\'s something that makes you think about the impact the happening of that chapter has. I also like how you change POV regularly. A POV from Pomfrey isn\'t something you see very often, yet it works here. Just one thing; in this last chapter, I wonder why you suddenly changed to a first person perspective. It confused me, and made no sense. Be consistent. I understand you had to give some background information on the various characters, but maybe it would\'ve been better to do this through flashbacks... you could\'ve matchhis his perfectly with the change of POVs: you could\'ve flashed back to the moment where Severus\' leg got hurt in the part where you look through his POV; you could\'ve flashed back to the dramatic event over at the Burrow at the beginning of the second chapter; and so on. I think this would\'ve worked perfectly. Otherwise, put those 2 background chapters as first chapters, it looks like you put it randomly in the story, which looks messy.
I also saw in your LJ that you are reconsidering the pairing because you\'re afraid you\'ll mess it up... You won\'t. Your writing skills may not be perfect, yet you master the characters and style enough not to make it icky. I say you should go for it; worse pairings have been written by worse authors, you\'ve got nothing to loose. Their could be something in the change of Harry that attracts Snape, no doubt of that.
Wow, kinda lhy rhy review here. Hm, I\'m sorry if I sound like I\'m lecturing you; I\'m not, just trying to do some suggestions. Oh, and if you consider quitting writing; you may quit this story, but if writing is in your blood, it will one day get back to you anyway and you will pick up that pencil or that word processor and write something. I know it happened to me, and I was in a worse condition than you! XD Also, one final suggestion: don\'t look at the amount of reviews! Look at youts. ts. Most readers don\'t review, yet they do read fanfics. Your hits don\'t show whether people have actually read your fic or just glanced at it, but the number of people who read it will always be bigger than the amount of reviews ^^
*grabs a glass of water* I\'m done now. :P I\'ll keep an eye on both your story and your LJ. You live in Belgium, don\'t you? I\'m from Holland! Yay :D I hope this review helped you in one way or the other.
-Mykerinos
Either way, let me say something about your fic too ^^;; I think you have a wonderful feeling for language. Your sentences are well-formed, but not repetitive, and I especially like the short but powerful sentences you put at the end of every chapter. It\'s something that makes you think about the impact the happening of that chapter has. I also like how you change POV regularly. A POV from Pomfrey isn\'t something you see very often, yet it works here. Just one thing; in this last chapter, I wonder why you suddenly changed to a first person perspective. It confused me, and made no sense. Be consistent. I understand you had to give some background information on the various characters, but maybe it would\'ve been better to do this through flashbacks... you could\'ve matchhis his perfectly with the change of POVs: you could\'ve flashed back to the moment where Severus\' leg got hurt in the part where you look through his POV; you could\'ve flashed back to the dramatic event over at the Burrow at the beginning of the second chapter; and so on. I think this would\'ve worked perfectly. Otherwise, put those 2 background chapters as first chapters, it looks like you put it randomly in the story, which looks messy.
I also saw in your LJ that you are reconsidering the pairing because you\'re afraid you\'ll mess it up... You won\'t. Your writing skills may not be perfect, yet you master the characters and style enough not to make it icky. I say you should go for it; worse pairings have been written by worse authors, you\'ve got nothing to loose. Their could be something in the change of Harry that attracts Snape, no doubt of that.
Wow, kinda lhy rhy review here. Hm, I\'m sorry if I sound like I\'m lecturing you; I\'m not, just trying to do some suggestions. Oh, and if you consider quitting writing; you may quit this story, but if writing is in your blood, it will one day get back to you anyway and you will pick up that pencil or that word processor and write something. I know it happened to me, and I was in a worse condition than you! XD Also, one final suggestion: don\'t look at the amount of reviews! Look at youts. ts. Most readers don\'t review, yet they do read fanfics. Your hits don\'t show whether people have actually read your fic or just glanced at it, but the number of people who read it will always be bigger than the amount of reviews ^^
*grabs a glass of water* I\'m done now. :P I\'ll keep an eye on both your story and your LJ. You live in Belgium, don\'t you? I\'m from Holland! Yay :D I hope this review helped you in one way or the other.
-Mykerinos