AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Wizards Breath

by shaolin

person Danielle
schedule December 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
*fans self* Oh holy shit, it just got hotter in here! Whoa. UPDATE SOON!!! That\'s all I have to say...you just gotta update soon!!!!!
person jkrazed
schedule December 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Great start!!!!! I totally get the stoned OOC note at the end. Isn\'t funny seeing people wn\'tn\'t think we want to see... peeking out from behind a newspaper or a book, unable not to look, but not wanting to be seen as well? I really really like the first chapter, can\'t wait for an update!
person SnapeLover
schedule December 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hi! Only read chapter 1 so far and it\'s good!! Love the Snape-in-the-bath visuals!

Hope you don\'t mind a bit of grammatical criticism...? Instead of \'should of\' and \'could of\' the correct words are \'should\'ve\' (for *should have*) and \'could\'ve\'. Sorry, I can\'t resist, it\'s a pet peeve of mine. You also might want to check your spelling here and there: \'mearly\' should be \'merely\', etc. Please don\'t take these comments as a flame; they\'re not meant that way. Lots of folks don\'t care about spelling and grammar but I feel mistakes like these brinbring down the whole tone of the writing, and that\'s a shame because you\'re a good writer!

On to chapter 2!
person casi
schedule December 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
whoa, this is just great. the slow buildup is just amazing. I love it. I am dying for more.
person nessa
schedule December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hehehe...Snape and Granger getting stoned in a hash bar...hehehe. I really, really like it. That was great idea,please continue. Can\'t wait for more. Good work.
person rubberduck
schedule December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
hey shaolin. :-) a very interesting story you have here. i\'ve never been in a hash bar before (do they really exist?) so i\'ll have to take your word that that is how they are. i\'m NOT a midnight toker as it were. i liked the interplay between hermione and severus and all the veiled flirting. the only experience i have with being stoned is watching the gang on \'That 70\'s Show\' but HG/SS were acting quite differently then eric, hyde et al. your characters were actually lucid still. lol. no paranoia or munchies. harry and ron seem to be a mite selfish and stupid. how rude is it to invite a friend on vacation and then just leave her? tsk tsk. at least severus is there to keep her company.
person deblovesdragon
schedule December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Well, I liked it. I think that you should have Hermione be MORE affected by the pot. She still seems far too self-controlled. The only thing that she did in your chapter was call Snape \"Severus\". I not talking about dancing on the tables or anything stupid. Perhaps a case of the giggles. I hope Harry and Ron see her all messed up.
I just lovveruverus. Too sexy!
person summer
schedule December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hehehe...what a funny twist to the usual Sev/Mione paring. Glad to see that the ol\' professor can light up, lossen up and kick back. I have always said that more people should smoke, I guess the natural herb can also cure the wizarding world of snarky, mean potion masters too!
person summer
schedule December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hehehe...what a funny twist to the usual Sev/Mione paring. Glad to see that the ol\' professor can light up, lossen up and kick back. I have always said that more people should smoke, I guess the natural herb can also cure the wizarding world of snarky, mean potion masters too!
person GeekGoddess
schedule December 15, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I wondered what Snape would be like stoned....LOL....I loved your first chapter....it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland.....ALice and the Cat.....LOL....I can\'t wait until you update.