rate_review Reviews

i personally would have liked to see colin/dennis/harry also harry and the patil twins also harry/fluer/gabby.

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

This could be better. There seemsbe abe a lot of \'juice\'. The slang is a bit tacky.

Will you have one with Draco and Hermione? Please say \'yes\'! :)

that was interesting
i guess

This stor, so, so far, very disturbing - but not for the right reasons (in my opinion). I have written BDSM, slash, and all sorts of other \'disturbing\' erotica, and it requires a certain finesse if you want to do anything but make the reader sick at heart and stomach. Emotion, motivation, what they are thinking and feeling; these are the things that MAKE a story, and all are lacking in this so far. If your aim is simply to wtite about mechanical sexual acts and blood and violence, then you have succeeded. If you wish to write truly moving - and that includes disturbing people - I think you should go back and read the best of the genre and take some notes on what makes those stories good and try and apply them to your future work.